bad。？
？Oh； every cloud has a silver lining； honey；？ he announced dramatically； his tears spontaneously
drying up。 ？And dare I say； I think you are positively sterling！ Who are you and where did you
e from？ You？re just the most delicious little thing。？ Still clutching his handkerchief； Bailey
Winter reached up and caressed Vanessa？s cheek。
Silk and snot。 How lovely。
？I？m； um； looking for some friends of mine。 Blair and Serena？？
？Yes； those two vixens； well； who knows where they？ve gone off to？and who cares！？ He gripped
her upper arm tightly with his small hand。 ？You？re what I？ve been looking for。You？re the newnew
new look。 At last！？
？Excuse me？？ Vanessa wanted to back away； but if she did； she？d fall into the pool。
？You must stay with me this summer；？ he continued； enraptured。 ？Your energy； your profile；
your 。 。 。 baldness。 They？re positively inspiring！ Say you will； my dear。 Spend the night。 At least
one night。 Please。 Don？t make Uncle Bailey beg；？
？Stay here？？ Vanessa surveyed the scene once more： a modern glass…and…concrete mansion； a
glittering blue pool； hundreds of perfectly dressed and groomed men； chilled martinis？it was like a
Fellini film； if Fellini had ever made a movie about summer in the Hamptons。 She felt a surge of
creativity that almost took her breath away。 Of course！ A movie； in the Hamptons！ An
impressionistic documentary； inter…splicing party footage with first…person interviews；
documenting the creative process of one of the fashion industry？s leading forces。 It was a little bit
Robert Altman； a little bitGrey Gardens。 Not to mention that it beat the shit out of booger patrol at
the James…Morgans？。 ？Stay here；？ she repeated； nodding slowly。 ？Why； yes。 I？dlove to。？
She would？
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ABC Amber LIT Converter v2。02
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Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events have been altered or abbreviated to
protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
Okay； so I know I already interrupted your regularly scheduled programming for an important
message； but this is anemergency。 I？m putting out an APB？that？s all…points…bulletin in case you
didn？t know？on some of our very favorite people。 。 。 。
Missing： A vintage hunter green Aston Martin convertible。 Last seen speeding out of Georgica
Pond a little after sundown。 Reports vary； but my best sources say the car contained at least three
people？a guy and two girls？and I？m getting reports that at least one of the girls was wearing white。
Could someone be eloping？ Please keep your eyes peeled。 And now； back to your regularly
scheduled dish。
book report
Our first juicy report affirms what I both hoped and feared about those book geeks： they reallyare
freaks in bed。 Rumor has it that a certain Harlem…based intellectual salon went from sping
literary thought to sping spit？and fast。 Talk about an introductory ？getting to know you？
meeting。 I wonder if that？s what D and his new friend G had in mind when they sought
out ？like…minded young men and women？ and asked applicants to attach their pictures。 。 。 。 Then
again； from what I hear； these eager literati saw beyond the shackles of identity？like； um；
gender？and simply embraced the soul （and some other things） of the person next to them。 I guess
that？s what they mean about not judging a book by its cover。
So does this little freak…orgy mean the demise of literary debate？ Can people no longer sit around
a rambling Harlem apartment and discuss great works of literature without getting frisky？ Or does
it symbolize the return of freaky group…sex organizations like Plato？s Retreat？ （Can I just say 。 。 。
ew。） Sorry to disappoint； but for once I don？t know for sure。 Iwill tell you what it means for me；
however： I am never； ever going above One…hundredth Street。 I don？t care how ？stimulating？ the
event promises to be。
paint by numbers
Speaking of parties with an； ahem； same…sex appeal； I have a bone to pick with a certain
flamboyant designer about his latest stylish affair： What？s with the all…white theme？ For people
who consider themselves free thinkers； the idea itself is just so 。 。 。 single…minded （although maybe
I？m just smarting from my exclusion from the party； due to the similarlysingle…minded
all…maletheme）。 I suppose it？s a way for the rich and famous to make themselves feel chic and
fabulous？anybody remember that rocker whose Greenwich Village apartment was done entirely in
white？ Even his guests had to match the d？cor。 And while it may look it fantastic for five minutes；
it？s so impractical？hello； drunk people； colorful drinks； and white sofas？ Can anyone else put two
and two together？ Personally； I？m up for anything colorful； particularly in summer。 To prove my
point； a few of my favorite （colorful） things： sunset…pink Cosmos； blue…green ocean water； mint
chocolate…chip ice cream； and last but not least 。 。 。 tan boys in pastel shirts。 Talk about a color
bination！
your e…mail
Q：？
Dear the Gossip Girl；
？
I am beautiful brunette from foreign land so maybe there is somethings I don？t understand about
America。 I ask your help to explain to me this please： is bald now beautiful？ Do American men
like girls to look like this？ With shaved head？ Please advise。
？
？Confused
A：？
Dear C；
？
I think you？ve misunderstood。 Bald is beautiful when we？re talking about a Brazilian； but most
fellows I know like something to run their fingers through。 It？s the rare woman indeed who can
pull off the full…on buzz。 。 。 。 I？ve seen it work only once before。 Good luck！
？
？GG
Q：？
Dear GG；
？
I？ve been in Europe for the summer and am worried about my big brother back in New York。 He
hasn？t replied to any of my postcards； and when I called home a few minutes ago； my dad said he
was ？on the lam with a bottle of absinthe。？ Eeek！ Do you think he？s okay？
？
？Worried Little Sis
A：？
Dear WLS；
？
Not to worry！ Your bro is probably just out enjoying himself and trying new things。 Trust me；
that？s a good thing。 If you？re still concerned about his whereabouts； send me his pic。 。 。 。 If he？s
cute； I？ll track him down for you！
？
？GG
sightings
N； making his first beach appearance of the season with a friend I hardly recognized？what？s
up；A ； you been working out？ Great results！ I？ve got the camera…phone pics to prove it。 Yum。 Two
ladies matching the descriptions ofB andS were spotted chewing gum behind a gas station on
Main Street； late at night； but let？s take that one with a grain of salt； because another report also
hadB andS buying depilatories at Long？s； and something tells me those girls would never attempt
a home job； even in an emergency。 I mean； there are experts for that sort of thing； and yes； they
make house calls！V pedaling around East Hampton on a child？s bike with training wheels。 Maybe
she？s making some kind of environmental point？ Good for her。D ？s being a good environmentalist
himself； if that was indeed him passed out on the 2 train instead of cabbing it。 BTW；K andI ： if
you？re going to try to crash an all…boy party； it