Jack Kerouac inOn the Road。 Although honestly； all I remember from that book was lots of drugs
and lots of randomness。 Talk about following the yellow brick road！ But if your ？blowout？ is as
big as promised； I？m psyched to see your Emerald City。 Did that sound as dirty as I think it did？
Oops。 Anyway； consider the party announced！
？
？GG
Q：？
Dear GG；
？
I？m totally miserable because my parents say I have to get a job this summer。 But then I was
thinking about it； and I realized working doesn？t have to suck？youhave the coolest job ever！ So I
was wondering； do you take interns？
？
？Please Hire Me！
A：？
Dear PHM；
？
Thanks for the flattery； and trust me； you？re not wrong？thisis the coolest job in the world。
Although the truth is； I really don？t think of it as a job； but rather as a public service。 Sort of like
being a superhero： Bat Girl； Super Girl； Gossip Girl 。 。 。 You get the picture。 Sadly； though； there？s
only room for one Gossip Girl at this iBook。 Good luck finding an internship elsewhere！ I
hearVogue is hiring custodial specialists。 。 。 。 Just kidding。
？
？GG
bills； bills； bills
That last e…mail got me thinking about how for an unfortunate few of you； the term ？summer job？
is not just a phenomenon seen in the movies but a day…to…day reality。 My heart goes out to you；
seriously。 But it？s notall bad。 Here are some positive points to bear in mind when you？re punching
the time clock：
1） The best way to meet people is at work； whether it？s a cute coworker or a cute customer。
（Anybody remember howD first came across yoga girl？ Let me tell you； it wasn？t by wandering
into a Bikram class。 。 。 。）
2） What better way to learn the value of a hard day？s work and feel the satisfaction of earning
your money？ Ha！ Are they still telling those lies？
3） I hear hard labor burns a ton of calories！
So to PHM； keep your chin up； and keep on plugging！ That？s all for now； dears。 This little
worker bee needs to refresh her makeup； recharge her laptop battery； and pack up for a little road
trip。 。 。 。
You know you love me。
gossip girl
d； hot and bothered again
？Davey； Humphrey； Bogart； whatever your name is； speed it up。？
All the managers at the Strand had the same authoritative bark that never failed to make Dan
stand up a little straighter。 He looked left and right but couldn？t tell where the mand had e
from。
？You waiting for an engraved invitation； madam？？ Phil； a balding； failed Ph。D。 candidate who
loved to make the afternoon shifts hell； popped his head around an old rusty metal shelf。
？Asshole；？ Dan muttered as he pushed the groaning cart of to…be…shelved books。
Sensitive much？
The cracked rubber wheels squeaked and clacked as Dan pushed the rickety cart down the long；
narrow aisle； past the outdated travel guides。 He took a deep breath； immersing himself in the
familiar rhythm of picking up a book； determining the last name of the author； and locating its spot
on the shelf。 It was a sure way to let his subconscious speak to him：
？
Hairy kiss？burn my chin
The sick taste of absinthe in my throat
Deep in my gullet； sore lips and
Punches in the gut
Blind corners turned and now I am nowhere。。。。
？
His poetic free association was interrupted when an over…size book slipped off his cart。 He bent
over to pick it up； reading the title：Everything You？ve Always Wanted to Know （Go Ahead； Admit
It！） About Gay Sex by Melvin Lloyd and Dr。 Stephen Furman。
The line drawing on the glossy cover showed two male forms embracing chastely。 Like brothers。
Or baseball players after a game。 Totally normal。 Glancing around to see if any…one was near？as
usual； no one was interested in the travel guides to New Zealand published in the 1970s？Dan
opened the book； whistling all casual…like。
Nice try。
The slick pages slipped through his fingers； revealing more line drawings of two muscular
fellows in various embraces； arms and tongues positioned here and there。 There were a number of
bullet points and lists of dos and don？ts。 He skimmed the book； heart pounding； taking in only
snatches of phrases like ？Insert your tongue？ and ？Some partners find the use of an elbow helpful？
and ？Remember to brush your teeth。？
Pausing again to make sure that he was alone； Dan skipped ahead to the back of the book； where
the heavier paper stock meant only one thing： photographs。 And there they were； in full…color
glory： two men； performing what at first glance looked like a gymnastic routine。
Dan？s throat suddenly felt very dry。 He slammed the book shut and stuffed it on the very bottom
of his pile。 He？d never needed a cigarette this badly in his life。
Breathe； breathe。
Shaking slightly； Dan inhaled deeply on a beloved Camel and stepped away from the Strand。 He
needed a walk to purge his mind of the mental images of those two thick…necked wrestler types in
unimaginable poses。 Not that he had any kind of problem with gay people； of course。They？re here；
they？re queer； it？s awesome。 But there were some things that people just weren？t meant to do with
their bodies。 Like running。 And yoga。 And 。 。 。 whatever it was you called the thing he had just
seen depicted in that book。
Yoga。 He？d had a brush with that stuff？that was the closest he？d e to contorting his body into
a shape resembling what the guys in the book were doing； and he was not eager to get into that
particular position again anytime soon。 The only reason he？d bothered with yoga in the first place
had been for a girl。 He？d been so crazed over Bree he？d experimented with all kinds of insane
things： yoga； running； organic fruit juice。 Maybe the same thing was happening with Greg？ He？d
never really met anyone who loved books as much as he did。 Maybe he was just getting
everything all mixed up？ Maybe it was just like his dad had said and he was just transferring his
passion for books onto their friendship？
Yup？like quasi…gay father； like quasi…gay son。
Dodging the summer tourist sidewalk traffic； Dan stubbed out his cigarette and stuffed his hands
deep into the pockets of his fraying brown cords。You can？t be gay。 The image of Bree naked and
glistening with sweat in that overheated yoga studio came to him； and suddenly he felt a little out
of breath。 A little dizzy。 What was this sensation？ It felt familiar and alien all at once。 And he felt
something else too？ a boner。 In full daylight； like a little kid。 Looking down at it； he couldn？t help
but smile。 It was the best boner he？d ever had！ The thought of Bree； her bare skin damp with
sweat as she arched her back and planted her palms on the floor； was what sent his heart racing。
He lit another cigarette to celebrate the fact that he had biological evidence to prove that he； Dan
Humphrey； was most certainly not gay。 He had to keep himself from jumping in the air to click his
heels together。
Oh； andthat？s not gay at all。
the ghost of high school past
？Girls！ There are girls here！？ yelled a guy Serena didn？t recognize。 He lurched down the stone
steps from the foyer to the driveway； clutching one of her mother？s