eyes glowing eerily in the dark。 Nate grabbed his jeans； shirt； and
shoes and headed for the front door。 He could hardly wait for that
burrito。
The front door closed with a hollow bang； but Blair remained locked
in the bathroom； standing in front of the mirror glaring at her tear…
stained reflection。 The tube of Serena’s lip gloss was still lying on
the sink where she had left it。 Blair picked it up with trembling
fingers。 Gash； it was called。 What an ugly name。 Of course Serena
could wear lip gloss with ugly names； and tights with holes in them；
and dirty old shoes； and never cut her hair； and still get the boy。
Blair grunted at the irony of it all and opened her bathroom window；
tossing the lip gloss out into the night and waiting to hear it land on
the pavement below。 But she couldn’t hear a thing。
Her head was too full of the new movie she was working on。 The
movie in which the fabulous Serena van der Woodsen was run over
by a bus with her stupid picture plastered to the side of it and was
horribly maimed。 Her old friend Blair would take time out from her
busy life with her doting husband； Nate； to feed Elephant Girl
Serena mashed pears and tell her all about the parties she and Nate
had been to。 Serena would grunt and fart in response； but
charitable Blair wouldn’t mind。 It was the least she could do。
Everyone would call her Saint Blair； and she would win awards for
her golden heart。
Just before midnight； the taxi pulled up at 994 Fifth Avenue。 Across
the street； the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art were
deserted； glowing eerily white in the light of the streetlamps。
Serena stepped out of the cab and waved to Roland； the old night
doorman； who was dozing just inside the lobby。 The door to the
apartment building opened； but it wasn’t Roland who opened it。 It
was Nate。
“Nate！” Serena squealed； genuinely surprised。 “Hey； could you loan
me five bucks？ I haven’t got enough cash。 Usually the doorman
helps me out； but I guess he’s asleep。”
Nate pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and gave some to the
taxi driver。 He put his finger to his lips and crept up to the front door
of the building。 Then he knocked loudly on the glass door。 “Hello？”
he shouted。
“Oh； Nate；” Serena laughed。 “You are so mean！”
Roland snapped his eyes open and nearly fell off his chair。 Then he
opened the door for them； and Serena and Nate ran inside and rode
the elevator up to Serena’s apartment。
Serena led the way to her room and sat down heavily on the bed。
“Did you get my message？” she yawned at Nate； pulling off her
boots。 “I thought you’d e out tonight。”
“I couldn’t；” Nate said。 He picked up the little glass ballerina
perched on top of Serena’s mahogany jewelry chest。 She had the
tiniest toes； like little pinpoints。 He’d forgotten about her。
“Well； it wasn’t worth it anyway；” Serena sighed。 She lay down on
the bed。 “I am so tired；” she said。 She patted the bed next to her
and slid over to give Nate room。 “e lie down and tell me a
bedtime story？”
Nate put the ballerina down and swallowed。 Breathing in the scent
of Serena’s room with Serena in it made his heart hurt。 He lay down
next to her； their bodies touching。 Nate put his arm around Serena
and she kissed his cheek； snuggling in close。
“I was just over at Blair’s；” Nate said。
But Serena didn’t answer。 She was breathing steadily。 Maybe she
was already asleep。
Nate lay still； with his eyes open wide； his mind racing。 He
wondered if he and Blair were officially broken up now。 He wondered
if he kissed Serena right now； full on the lips and told her he loved
her； how she’d respond。 He wondered if he’d just gone ahead and
had sex with Blair if everything would have been all right。
Nate cast his eyes around the room； taking in all the familiar well…
loved objects that he’d grown up seeing and forgotten all about。
The kilt…wearing teddy bear from Scotland that sat aristocratically
on Serena’s little dressing table。 The big mahogany armoire with its
drawers half open and all her clothes spilling out of it。 The little
brown burn mark he’d made in ninth grade on the white canopy
hanging from her bed。
On the floor by the door was Serena’s red velvet bag。 The contents
had spilled out of it。 A blue pack of Gauloise cigarettes。 A twenty…
dollar bill。 An Amex card。 And a navy blue scarf with the letters C。B。
stitched on it in gold。
Why had she needed to borrow money from him when she had
twenty dollars with her？ Nate wondered。 And what the hell was she
doing with Chuck Bass’s scarf？
Nate turned over on his side and Serena moaned softly as her head
rolled back on the pillow。 He studied her critically。 She was so
beautiful and sexy and trusting； and so full of surprises。 It was hard
to believe she was actually for real。
Serena reached up and put her arms around Nate’s neck； pulling
him toward her。
“e on；” she murmured； her eyes still closed。 “Sleep with me。”
Nate’s whole body tensed。 He didn’t know if Serena meant just go
to sleep or sleep with her； but he was definitely aroused。 Any boy in
his right mind would be； which is exactly what turned Nate off。
There was something so careless about the way Serena had said it。
Nate suddenly had no trouble imagining her doing the things he’d
heard she’d done。 With Serena； anything was possible。
A glitter of silver caught his eye。 It was the tiny silver box Serena
kept on her bedside table； full of her baby teeth。 Every time he
came over； Nate used to open up the velvet…lined box to see if all
the teeth were still there。 But not this time。 From the look of things；
Serena wasn’t the same little girl who’d lost all those teeth。
Nate pulled away from her and stood up。 He snatched up Chuck’s
scarf and tossed it on the bed； not noticing that it was streaked with
vomit。 And then； without even looking at Serena again； he left；
slamming the door behind him。
Chicken。
At the sound of the door closing Serena opened her eyes and
breathed in the scent of her own barf。 Gagging； she threw the
covers back and ran to the bathroom。 She clutched the rim of her
white porcelain sink and heaved into it； her sides hurting with the
effort。 Nothing came out。 Serena turned on the shower as hot as it
would go and pulled her clammy Pucci dress over her head；
dropping it on the floor。 All she needed was a good hot shower and
a little exfoliant。
Tomorrow she’d be good as new。
Disclaimer： All the real names of places； people； and events havebeen altered or abbreviated to protect the innocent。 Namely； me。
hey people！
THE VIRGIN ISSUE
Can you believe N？ He was thisclose to getting a nice slice of B pie；
if you know what I mean。 I guess we’re supposed to admire his self…
control； his ability to keep the old hot dog in the bun。 But I bet B
really wouldn’t have minded too much if N had just kept his mouth
shut and got on with it instead of getting all moral on her and telling
her all about his time with S。 I mean； who’s B going to lose it to
now？
I was wrong about boys。 I always thought they