now？
I was wrong about boys。 I always thought they’d do anything to bag
a virgin。 I mean； I thought N would like the idea that B has never
done it。 But he doesn’t seem to care about that at all。 All it does is
make having sex with her this huge thing that he can’t deal with
without smoking a big fattie and downing half a bottle of JD。 So
disappointing。
Not that he was too quick to jump S’s bones either； and we all know
she’s no virgin。
Maybe N just has high moral standards。
Ooh； that makes me like him even more。
Your E…mail
Hey gossip girl；i saw S go upstairs with some dude at the Tribeca
Star。 she was wasted。 i was kind of tempted to knock on the door
and see if there was a party going on or s/t； but i chickened out。 i
just wanted your advice。 do you think she’d do me？ i mean； she
looks pretty easy。—Coop
Dear Coop； If you’re the type of guy who has to ask； then probably
not。 S may be a ho； but she has excellent taste。 —GG
Sightings
Just one： N at the burrito place on Lexington； chatting up the cute
girl behind the counter。 She gave him extra guacamole for free。
Yeah； I bet she did。
You know you love me；
“Dan；” Jenny whispered； poking at her brother’s chest。 “Wake up。”
Dan flung his hand over his eyes and kicked at his sheets。 “Go
away。 It’s Saturday；” he mumbled。
“Please get up；” Jenny whined。 She sat down on the bed； poking
him repeatedly until he removed his arm to glare at her。
“What’s your problem？” Dan said。 “Leave me alone。”
“No；” Jenny insisted。 “We have to go shopping。”
“Right；” Dan said。 He rolled over； turning his head toward the wall。
“Please； Dan。 I have to get a dress for the party on Friday and you
have to help me。 Dad gave me his credit card。 He said you could
get a tux； too。” Jenny giggled。 “Since we’re turning out to be the
type of spoiled rotten kids that will need tuxes and dresses and all
that crap。”
Dan rolled over。 “I’m not going to that party；” he said。
“Shut up。 Yes you are。 You’re going and you’re going to meet Serena
and dance with her。 I’ll introduce you。 She’s totally cool；” Jenny
burbled happily。
“No；” Dan said stubbornly。
“Well； you can at least help me pick out a dress；” Jenny pouted。
“Because I’m going。 And I want to look nice。”
“Can’t Dad go with you？” Dan asked。
“Yeah； right。 I said I wanted to look nice；” Jenny scoffed。 “You know
what Dad told me？ He said； ‘Go to Sears； it’s the proletarian
department store。’ Whatever that means。 I don’t even know where
Sears is； if it even exists anymore。 Anyway； I want to go to Barneys。
I can’t believe I’ve never even been there。 I bet people like Serena
van der Woodsen and Blair Waldorf go there； like； every day。”
Dan sat up and yawned loudly。 Jenny was all dressed and ready to
go； with her curly hair pulled back into a ponytail。 She even had her
jacket and shoes on。 She looked so cute and eager； it was kind of
hard to say no。
“You’re such a pain in my ass；” Dan said； standing up and stumbling
toward the bathroom。
“You know you love me；” Jenny called after him。
As far as Dan was concerned； Barneys was full of assholes； down to
the dude who opened the door for him； smiling in the cheesiest way
possible。 But Jenny loved it； and even though she had never been
there； she seemed to know everything about the place。 She knew
not to bother with the lower floors； which were full of designer
clothes she could never afford； and headed straight to the top floor
Co…op。 And when the elevator doors rolled open； she felt like she
had died and gone to heaven。 There were so many beautiful
dresses hanging on the racks it made her salivate to look at them。
She wanted to try them all on； but of course she couldn’t。
When you’re a 34D； you’re kind of limited。 And you definitely need
help。
“Dan； will you go ask that woman to help me find this in my size；”
Jenny whispered； fingering a purple velvet empire…waist sheath with
beaded straps。 She pulled out the price tag。 Six hundred bucks。
“Jesus Christ！” Dan said； looking at the price over her shoulder。 “No
way。”
“I’m just trying it on for fun；” Jenny insisted。 “I won’t buy it。” She
held the dress up to herself。 The bodice would barely cover her
nipples。 Jenny sighed and put the dress back on the rack。 “Would
you please ask that lady if she’ll help me？” she repeated。
“Why can’t you ask？” Dan said。 He shoved his hands in his
corduroys and leaned against a wooden hat rack。
“Please？” Jenny said。
“Fine。”
Dan strode over to a haggard looking woman with frosted blond
hair。 She looked like she’d been working in department stores her
entire life； only taking one vacation a year in Atlantic City； New
Jersey。 Dan imagined her chain…smoking Virginia Slims down on the
boardwalk； worrying about how the girls back at the store were
managing without her。
“Can I help you； young man？” the woman asked him。 Her name tag
said “Maureen。”
Dan smiled。 “Hello。 Do you think you could help my sister find a
nice dress？ She’s over there。” He pointed at Jenny； who was
studying the price tag of a red silk wraparound with ruffles on the
sleeves。 Jenny had taken off her jacket and was wearing a white T…
shirt。 Dan could not deny it。 Her boobs were really huge。
“Yes； of course；” Maureen said； striding purposefully toward Jenny。
Dan stayed where he was； glancing around the room and feeling
pletely out of place。 Behind him； he heard a familiar voice。
“I look like a nun； Mom； I swear。 It’s just pletely wrong。”
“Oh； Serena；” another voice said。 “I think it’s darling。 What if you
just unbutton the collar a bit。 There。 See？ It’s very Jackie O。”
Dan spun around。 A tall； middle…aged woman with Serena’s coloring
was standing half in； half out of a curtained dressing room。 The
curtain was slightly parted； and Dan could just see a bit of Serena’s
hair； her collarbone； her bare feet； the toenails painted dark red。 His
cheeks burned； and he bolted for the elevator。
“Hey Dan； where’re you going？” Jenny called over to him。 Her arms
were already piled high with dresses； and Maureen was flicking
efficiently through the racks； while giving her all sorts of good
advice about support bras and the latest figure…enhancing
underwear。 Jenny had never been happier。
“Gonna check out the men’s stuff；” Dan mumbled； glancing
nervously toward the side of the room where he’d spotted Serena。
“Okay；” Jenny said gaily。 “I’ll meet you down there in forty…five
minutes。 And if I need your help； I’ll call you on your cell。”
Dan nodded and leapt onto the elevator as soon as it opened。 Down
in the men’s department； he ambled over to a counter and spritzed
his hands with Gucci cologne； wrinkling his nose at the strong；
Italian； male scent。 He looked around the intimidating； woody room
for a bathroom where he could wash it off。 Instead； he found a
mannequin in full evening dress and beside it； a rack full of tuxes。
Dan fingered the rich material of the jackets and looked at the
labels。 Hugo Boss； Calvin Klein；