Maybe it would give her back some of her power。
Barefoot; she padded into her parents’ dressing room; where they
were getting ready for their own black…tie affair。
“What do you think?” Serena asked; doing a little twirl in front of
them。
“Oh; Serena; you’re not wearing that。 Tell me you’re not;” her
mother exclaimed; fastening a long rope of pearls around her neck。
“What’s wrong with it?” Serena said。
“It’s an old ratty thing;” Mrs。 van der Woodsen told her。 “It’s just the
sort of dress my grandmother was buried in。”
“What’s wrong with one of those outfits you bought with your
mother last weekend?” Mr。 van der Woodsen suggested。 “Didn’t you
buy anything to wear to the party?”
“Of course she did;” Mrs。 van der Woodsen said。 “She bought a
lovely black dress。”
“That makes me look like a fat nun;” Serena said grumpily。 She put
her hands on her hips and posed in front of her mother’s full…length
mirror。 “I like this dress。 It’s got character。”
Her mother sighed disapprovingly。 “Well; what’s Blair wearing?” she
asked。
Serena stared at her mother and blinked。 Under normal
circumstances she would have known exactly what Blair was
wearing; down to her underwear。 And Blair would have insisted on
going shoe…shopping together; because if you bought a new dress;
you had to have a pair of new shoes。 Blair loved shoes。
“Blair told everyone to wear vintage;” Serena lied。
Her mother was about to respond when Serena heard her phone
ring in her bedroom。 Was it Nate calling to apologize? Blair? She
raced down the hall in her bare feet; scrambling to pick it up。
“Hello?” she said breathlessly。
“Yo; bitch。 Sorry I haven’t called in a while。”
Serena took a deep breath and sat down on her bed。 It was Erik; her
brother。
“Hey;” she said。
“Saw you in the paper last Sunday。 You are crazy; aren’t you?” Erik
laughed。 “What did Mom say?”
“Nothing。 It’s like I can do whatever I want now。 Everyone thinks I’m
like; ruined or something;” Serena said; fumbling for the right
words。
“That’s not true;” Erik said。 “Hey; what’s up? You sound sad。”
“Yeah;” Serena said。 Her lower lip started to tremble。 “I sort of am。”
“How e? What’s going on?”
“I don’t know。 There’s this party I’m supposed to go to that
everyone’s going to。 You know how it is;” she began。
“That doesn’t sound so bad;” Erik said gently。
Serena propped her pillows against the headboard of her bed and
wriggled under her forter。 She rested her head against the
pillows and closed her eyes。 “It’s just that no one’s talking to me
anymore。 I don’t even know why; but ever since I’ve been back it’s
been like I have mad cow disease or something;” she explained。
The tears began to fall from underneath her closed lids。
“What about Blair and Nate? Those guys must be talking to you;”
Erik said。 “They’re your best friends。”
“Not anymore;” Serena said quietly。 Tears were streaming freely
down her face now。 She picked up a pillow and dabbed it against
her cheeks to ebb the flow。
“Well; you know what I say?” Erik said。
Serena swallowed and wiped her nose on the back of her hand。
“What?”
“Fuck ’em。 Totally。 You don’t need them。 You’re like; the coolest
chick in the Western Hemisphere。 Fuck ’em; fuck ’em; fuck ’em;” he
said。
“Yeah;” Serena said dubiously。 “But they’re my friends。”
“Not anymore。 You just said so yourself。 You can get new friends。 I’m
serious;” Erik said。 “You can’t let assholes turn you into an asshole。
You just have to fuck ’em。”
It was a perfect Erikism。 Serena laughed; wiped her runny nose on a
pillow; and threw it across the room。 “Okay;” she said; sitting up。
“You’re right。”
“I’m always right。 That’s why I’m so hard to get ahold of。 There’s a
huge demand for people like me;” he said。
“I miss you;” Serena told him; chewing on her pinky nail。
“I miss you too;” Erik said。
“Serena? We’re leaving!” she heard her mother call from out in the
hall。
“Okay; I better go;” Serena said。 “Love you。”
“Bye。”
Serena clicked off。 On the end of her bed was the invitation to the
Kiss on the Lips party that Jenny had made for her。 She snatched it
up and tossed it in her wastepaper basket。
Erik was right。 She didn’t have to go to some stupid benefit just
because everyone else was going。 They didn’t even want her there。
Fuck ’em。 She was free to do what she pleased。
She carried the phone over to her desk and shuffled through a pile
of papers until she found the Constance Billard School student
directory; which had arrived in the mail on Monday。 Serena read
through the names。 She wasn’t the only one skipping the party。 She
could find someone else to hang out with。
“Yo;” Vanessa said; picking up the phone。 She was getting ready to
go out with her sister and her friends; and she was wearing a black
bra; black jeans; and her Doc Martens。 She didn’t have any clean
black shirts left; and her sister was trying to convince her to wear a
red one。
“Hi。 Is that Vanessa Abrams?” a girl’s voice said on the other end of
the phone。
“Yes。 Who’s this?” Vanessa said; standing in front of her bedroom
mirror and holding the red shirt up to her chest。 She hadn’t worn
any color but black in two years。 Why should she start now?
Please。 It’s not like wearing a red shirt was going turn her into a
bouncy cheerleader with blond pigtails。 She’d have to be
brainwashed for that to happen。
“It’s Serena van der Woodsen。”
Vanessa stopped looking at herself and threw the shirt on her bed。
“Oh;” she said。 “What’s up?”
“Well;” Serena said。 “I totally understand why you wanted to cast
Marjorie。 You know; for your film? But you seem to really know what
you’re doing; and I really need the extracurricular or Ms。 Glos is
going to kill me。 So I thought I’d try to make my own movie。”
“Uh huh;” Vanessa said; trying to figure out why Serena van der
Woodsen of all people would be calling her up on a Friday night。
Didn’t she have a ball to go to or something? Some fête?
“So anyway; I was wondering if maybe you could help me。 You
know; like show me how to use the camera; and whatever。 I mean; I
really don’t know what I’m doing;” Serena said。 She sighed。 “I don’t
know; maybe making a film is a dumb idea。 It’s probably a lot
harder than I think。”
“It’s not dumb;” Vanessa said; feeling kind of sorry for Serena
despite herself。 “I can show you some of the basic stuff。”
“Really?” Serena said。 She sounded thrilled。 “How about tomorrow?
Can you do it tomorrow?”
Saturday was Vanessa’s vampire day。 She usually woke up after
dark and then went to the diner or to the movies with her sister or
Dan。
“Sunday is better;” she said。
“Okay。 Sunday;” Serena said。 “You probably have a lot of equipment
and stuff at your house; right? Why don’t I e over there; so you
don’t have to lug it around。”
“Sounds good;” Vanessa said。
“Okay;” Serena said。 She paused。 She didn’t seem very eager to
hang up the phone。
“Hey; isn’t that big
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