it was her duty； since the school was such。 He had crystallized
the class into order。 But to see him； a strong； powerful man；
using all his power for such a purpose； seemed almost horrible。
There was something hideous about it。 The strange； genial light
in his eye was really vicious； and ugly； his smile was one of
torture。 He could not be impersonal。 He could not have a clear；
pure purpose； he could only exercise his own brute will。 He did
not believe in the least in the education he kept inflicting
year after year upon the children。 So he must bully； only bully；
even while it tortured his strong； wholesome nature with shame
like a spur always galling。 He was so blind and ugly and out of
place。 Ursula could not bear it as he stood there。 The whole
situation was wrong and ugly。
The lesson was finished； Mr。 Harby went away。 At the far end
of the room she heard the whistle and the thud of the cane。 Her
heart stood still within her。 She could not bear it； no； she
could not bear it when the boy was beaten。 It made her sick。 She
felt that she must go out of this school； this torture…place。
And she hated the schoolmaster； thoroughly and finally。 The
brute； had he no shame？ He should never be allowed to continue
the atrocity of this bullying cruelty。 Then Hill came crawling
back； blubbering piteously。 There was something desolate about
this blubbering that nearly broke her heart。 For after all； if
she had kept her class in proper discipline； this would never
have happened； Hill would never have called out and been
caned。
She began the arithmetic lesson。 But she was distracted。 The
boy Hill sat away on the back desk； huddled up； blubbering and
sucking his hand。 It was a long time。 She dared not go near； nor
speak to him。 She felt ashamed before him。 And she felt she
could not forgive the boy for being the huddled； blubbering
object； all wet and snivelled； which he was。
She went on correcting the sums。 But there were too many
children。 She could not get round the class。 And Hill was on her
conscience。 At last he had stopped crying； and sat bunched over
his hands； playing quietly。 Then he looked up at her。 His face
was dirty with tears； his eyes had a curious washed look； like
the sky after rain； a sort of wanness。 He bore no malice。 He had
already forgotten； and was waiting to be restored to the normal
position。
〃Go on with your work； Hill；〃 she said。
The children were playing over their arithmetic； and； she
knew； cheating thoroughly。 She wrote another sum on the
blackboard。 She could not get round the class。 She went again to
the front to watch。 Some were ready。 Some were not。 What was she
to do？
At last it was time for recreation。 She gave the order to
cease working； and in some way or other got her class out of the
room。 Then she faced the disorderly litter of blotted；
uncorrected books； of broken rulers and chewed pens。 And her
heart sank in sickness。 The misery was getting deeper。
The trouble went on and on； day after day。 She had always
piles of books to mark； myriads of errors to correct； a
heart…wearying task that she loathed。 And the work got worse and
worse。 When she tried to flatter herself that the position
grew more alive； more interesting； she had to see that the
handwriting grew more and more slovenly； the books more filthy
and disgraceful。 She tried what she could； but it was of no use。
But she was not going to take it seriously。 Why should she？ Why
should she say to herself； that it mattered； if she failed to
teach a class to write perfectly neatly？ Why should she take the
blame unto herself？
Pay day came； and she received four pounds two shillings and
one penny。 She was very proud that day。 She had never had so
much money before。 And she had earned it all herself。 She sat on
the top of the tram…car fingering the gold and fearing she might
lose it。 She felt so established and strong； because of it。 And
when she got home she said to her mother：
〃It is pay day to…day； mother。〃
〃Ay；〃 said her mother； coolly。
Then Ursula put down fifty shillings on the table。
〃That is my board；〃 she said。
〃Ay；〃 said her mother； letting it lie。
Ursula was hurt。 Yet she had paid her scot。 She was free。 She
paid for what she had。 There remained moreover thirty…two
shillings of her own。 She would not spend any； she who was
naturally a spendthrift； because she could not bear to damage
her fine gold。
She had a standing ground now apart from her parents。 She was
something else besides the mere daughter of William and Anna
Brangwen。 She was independent。 She earned her own living。 She
was an important member of the working munity。 She was sure
that fifty shillings a month quite paid for her keep。 If her
mother received fifty shillings a month for each of the
children； she would have twenty pounds a month and no clothes to
provide。 Very well then。
Ursula was independent of her parents。 She now adhered
elsewhere。 Now； the 'Board of Education' was a phrase that rang
significant to her； and she felt Whitehall far beyond her as her
ultimate home。 In the government； she knew which minister had
supreme control over Education； and it seemed to her that； in
some way； he was connected with her； as her father was connected
with her。
She had another self； another responsibility。 She was no
longer Ursula Brangwen； daughter of William Brangwen。 She was
also Standard Five teacher in St。 Philip's School。 And it was a
case now of being Standard Five teacher； and nothing else。 For
she could not escape。
Neither could she succeed。 That was her horror。 As the weeks
passed on； there was no Ursula Brangwen； free and jolly。 There
was only a girl of that name obsessed by the fact that she could
not manage her class of children。 At week…ends there came days
of passionate reaction； when she went mad with the taste of
liberty； when merely to be free in the morning； to sit down at
her embroidery and stitch the coloured silks was a passion of
delight。 For the prison house was always awaiting her！ This was
only a respite； as her chained heart knew well。 So that she
seized hold of the swift hours of the week…end； and wrung the
last drop of sweetness out of them； in a little； cruel
frenzy。
She did not tell anybody how this state was a torture to her。
She did not confide； either to Gudrun or to her parents； how
horrible she found it to be a school…teacher。 But when Sunday
night came； and she felt the Monday morning at hand； she was
strung up tight with dreadful anticipation； because the strain
and the torture was near again。
She did not believe that she could ever teach that great；
brutish class； in that brutal school： ever； ever。 And yet； if
she failed； she must in some way go under。 She must admit that
the man's world was too strong for her； she could not take her
place in it； she must go down before Mr。 Harby。 And all her life
henceforth； she must go on； never having freed herself of the
man's world； never having achieved the freedom of the great
world of responsible work。 Maggie had taken her place there； she
had even stood level with Mr。 Harby and got free of him： and her
soul was always wandering in far…off valleys and