was a strange； dark tension about her husband。
She became aware that he was trying to force his will upon
her； something； there was something he wanted； as he lay there
dark and tense。 And her soul sighed in weariness。
Everything was so vague and lovely； and he wanted to wake her
up to the hard； hostile reality。 She drew back in resistance。
Still he said nothing。 But she felt his power persisting on her；
till she became aware of the strain； she cried out against the
exhaustion。 He was forcing her； he was forcing her。 And she
wanted so much the joy and the vagueness and the innocence of
her pregnancy。 She did not want his bitter…corrosive love； she
did not want it poured into her； to burn her。 Why must she have
it？ Why； oh； why was he not content； contained？
She sat many hours by the window； in those days when he drove
her most with the black constraint of his will； and she watched
the rain falling on the yew trees。 She was not sad； only
wistful； blanched。 The child under her heart was a perpetual
warmth。 And she was sure。 The pressure was only upon her from
the outside； her soul had no stripes。
Yet in her heart itself was always this same strain； tense；
anxious。 She was not safe； she was always exposed； she was
always attacked。 There was a yearning in her for a fulness of
peace and blessedness。 What a heavy yearning it was……so
heavy。
She knew； vaguely； that all the time he was not satisfied；
all the time he was trying to force something from her。 Ah； how
she wished she could succeed with him； in her own way！ He was
there； so inevitable。 She lived in him also。 And how she wanted
to be at peace with him； at peace。 She loved him。 She would give
him love； pure love。 With a strange； rapt look in her face； she
awaited his homeing that night。
Then； when he came； she rose with her hands full of love； as
of flowers； radiant； innocent。 A dark spasm crossed his face。 As
she watched； her face shining and flower…like with innocent
love； his face grew dark and tense； the cruelty gathered in his
brows； his eyes turned aside； she saw the whites of his eyes as
he looked aside from her。 She waited； touching him with her
hands。 But from his body through her hands came the
bitter…corrosive shock of his passion upon her； destroying her
in blossom。 She shrank。 She rose from her knees and went away
from him； to preserve herself。 And it was great pain to her。
To him also it was agony。 He saw the glistening； flower…like
love in her face； and his heart was black because he did not
want it。 Not this……not this。 He did not want flowery
innocence。 He was unsatisfied。 The rage and storm of
unsatisfaction tormented him ceaselessly。 Why had she not
satisfied him？ He had satisfied her。 She was satisfied； at
peace； innocent round the doors of her own paradise。
And he was unsatisfied； unfulfilled； he raged in torment；
wanting； wanting。 It was for her to satisfy him： then let her do
it。 Let her not e with flowery handfuls of innocent love。 He
would throw these aside and trample the flowers to nothing。 He
would destroy her flowery； innocent bliss。 Was he not entitled
to satisfaction from her； and was not his heart all raging
desire； his soul a black torment of unfulfilment。 Let it be
fulfilled in him； then； as it was fulfilled in her。 He had given
her her fulfilment。 Let her rise up and do her part。
He was cruel to her。 But all the time he was ashamed。 And
being ashamed； he was more cruel。 For he was ashamed that he
could not e to fulfilment without her。 And he could not。 And
she would not heed him。 He was shackled and in darkness of
torment。
She beseeched him to work again； to do his wood…carving。 But
his soul was too black。 He had destroyed his panel of Adam and
Eve。 He could not begin again； least of all now； whilst he was
in this condition。
For her there was no final release； since he could not be
liberated from himself。 Strange and amorphous； she must go
yearning on through the trouble； like a warm； glowing cloud
blown in the middle of a storm。 She felt so rich； in her warm
vagueness； that her soul cried out on him； because he harried
her and wanted to destroy her。
She had her moments of exaltation still； re…births of old
exaltations。 As she sat by her bedroom window； watching the
steady rain； her spirit was somewhere far off。
She sat in pride and curious pleasure。 When there was no one
to exult with； and the unsatisfied soul must dance and play；
then one danced before the Unknown。
Suddenly she realized that this was what she wanted to do。
Big with child as she was； she danced there in the bedroom by
herself； lifting her hands and her body to the Unseen； to the
unseen Creator who had chosen her； to Whom she belonged。
She would not have had anyone know。 She danced in secret； and
her soul rose in bliss。 She danced in secret before the Creator；
she took off her clothes and danced in the pride of her
bigness。
It surprised her； when it was over。 She was shrinking and
afraid。 To what was she now exposed？ She half wanted to tell her
husband。 Yet she shrank from him。
All the time she ran on by herself。 She liked the story of
David； who danced before the Lord； and uncovered himself
exultingly。 Why should he uncover himself to Michal； a mon
woman？ He uncovered himself to the Lord。
〃Thou est to me with a sword and a spear and a shield； but
I e to thee in the name of the Lord：……for the battle is
the Lord's； and he will give you into our hands。〃
Her heart rang to the words。 She walked in her pride。 And her
battle was her own Lord's； her husband was delivered over。
In these days she was oblivious of him。 Who was he； to e
against her？ No； he was not even the Philistine； the Giant。 He
was like Saul proclaiming his own kingship。 She laughed in her
heart。 Who was he； proclaiming his kingship？ She laughed in her
heart with pride。
And she had to dance in exultation beyond him。 Because he was
in the house； she had to dance before her Creator in exemption
from the man。 On a Saturday afternoon； when she had a fire in
the bedroom； again she took off her things and danced； lifting
her knees and her hands in a slow； rhythmic exulting。 He was in
the house； so her pride was fiercer。 She would dance his
nullification； she would dance to her unseen Lord。 She was
exalted over him； before the Lord。
She heard him ing up the stairs； and she flinched。 She
stood with the firelight on her ankles and feet； naked in the
shadowy； late afternoon； fastening up her hair。 He was startled。
He stood in the doorway； his brows black and lowering。
〃What are you doing？〃 he said； gratingly。 〃You'll catch a
cold。〃
And she lifted her hands and danced again； to annul him； the
light glanced on her knees as she made her slow； fine movements
down the far side of the room； across the firelight。 He stood
away near the door in blackness of shadow； watching； transfixed。
And with slow； heavy movements she swayed backwards and
forwards； like a full ear of corn； pale in the dusky afternoon；
threading before the firelight； dancing his non…existence；
dancing herself to the Lord； to exultation。
He watched； and his soul burned in him。 He turned aside； he
co