The Rainbow-虹(英文版)- 第89部分

She　spoke　with　some　contempt。

〃Yes；　I　do。　He　is　half　a　Pole；　and　a　Baron　too。　In　England　he
is　equivalent　to　a　Lord。　My　grandmother　was　his　father's
friend。〃

But　the　two　friends　were　hostile。　It　was　as　if　Ursula
wanted　to　divide　herself　from　her　acquaintances；　in
asserting　her　connection　with　Anton；　as　she　now　called　him。

He　came　a　good　deal　to　Cossethay；　because　her　mother　was　fond
of　him。　Anna　Brangwen　became　something　of　a　grande　dame
with　Skrebensky；　very　calm；　taking　things　for　granted。

〃Aren't　the　children　in　bed？〃　cried　Ursula　petulantly；　as　she
came　in　with　the　young　man。

〃They　will　be　in　bed　in　half　an　hour；〃　said　the　mother。

〃There　is　no　peace；〃　cried　Ursula。

〃The　children　must　live；　Ursula；〃　said　her　mother。

And　Skrebensky　was　against　Ursula　in　this。　Why　should　she　be
so　insistent？

But　then；　as　Ursula　knew；　he　did　not　have　the　perpetual
tyranny　of　young　children　about　him。　He　treated　her　mother　with
great　courtliness；　to　which　Mrs。　Brangwen　returned　an　easy；
friendly　hospitality。　Something　pleased　the　girl　in　her　mother's
calm　assumption　of　state。　It　seemed　impossible　to　abate　Mrs。
Brangwen's　position。　She　could　never　be　beneath　anyone　in　public
relation。　Between　Brangwen　and　Skrebensky　there　was　an
unbridgeable　silence。　Sometimes　the　two　men　made　a　slight
conversation；　but　there　was　no　interchange。　Ursula　rejoiced　to
see　her　father　retreating　into　himself　against　the　young
man。

She　was　proud　of　Skrebensky　in　the　house。　His　lounging；
languorous　indifference　irritated　her　and　yet　cast　a　spell　over
her。　She　knew　it　was　the　oute　of　a　spirit　of
laissez…aller　bined　with　profound　young　vitality。　Yet
it　irritated　her　deeply。

Notwithstanding；　she　was　proud　of　him　as　he　lounged　in　his
lambent　fashion　in　her　home；　he　was　so　attentive　and　courteous
to　her　mother　and　to　herself　all　the　time。　It　was　wonderful　to
have　his　awareness　in　the　room。　She　felt　rich　and　augmented　by
it；　as　if　she　were　the　positive　attraction　and　he　the　flow
towards　her。　And　his　courtesy　and　his　agreement　might　be　all　her
mother's；　but　the　lambent　flicker　of　his　body　was　for　herself。
She　held　it。

She　must　ever　prove　her　power。

〃I　meant　to　show　you　my　little　wood…carving；〃　she　said。

〃I'm　sure　it's　not　worth　showing；　that；〃　said　her　father。

〃Would　you　like　to　see　it？〃　she　asked；　leaning　towards　the
door。

And　his　body　had　risen　from　the　chair；　though　his　face　seemed
to　want　to　agree　with　her　parents。

〃It　is　in　the　shed；〃　she　said。

And　he　followed　her　out　of　the　door；　whatever　his　feelings
might　be。

In　the　shed　they　played　at　kisses；　really　played　at　kisses。
It　was　a　delicious；　exciting　game。　She　turned　to　him；　her　face
all　laughing；　like　a　challenge。　And　he　accepted　the　challenge　at
once。　He　twined　his　hand　full　of　her　hair；　and　gently；　with　his
hand　wrapped　round　with　hair　behind　her　head；　gradually　brought
her　face　nearer　to　his；　whilst　she　laughed　breathless　with
challenge；　and　his　eyes　gleamed　with　answer；　with　enjoyment　of
the　game。　And　he　kissed　her；　asserting　his　will　over　her；　and
she　kissed　him　back；　asserting　her　deliberate　enjoyment　of　him。
Daring　and　reckless　and　dangerous　they　knew　it　was；　their　game；
each　playing　with　fire；　not　with　love。　A　sort　of　defiance　of　all
the　world　possessed　her　in　it……she　would　kiss　him　just
because　she　wanted　to。　And　a　dare…devilry　in　him；　like　a
cynicism；　a　cut　at　everything　he　pretended　to　serve；　retaliated
in　him。

She　was　very　beautiful　then；　so　wide　opened；　so　radiant；　so
palpitating；　exquisitely　vulnerable　and　poignantly；　wrongly；
throwing　herself　to　risk。　It　roused　a　sort　of　madness　in　him。
Like　a　flower　shaking　and　wide…opened　in　the　sun；　she　tempted
him　and　challenged　him；　and　he　accepted　the　challenge；　something
went　fixed　in　him。　And　under　all　her　laughing；　poignant
recklessness　was　the　quiver　of　tears。　That　almost　sent　him　mad；
mad　with　desire；　with　pain；　whose　only　issue　was　through
possession　of　her　body。

So；　shaken；　afraid；　they　went　back　to　her　parents　in　the
kitchen；　and　dissimulated。　But　something　was　roused　in　both　of
them　that　they　could　not　now　allay。　It　intensified　and
heightened　their　senses；　they　were　more　vivid；　and　powerful　in
their　being。　But　under　it　all　was　a　poignant　sense　of
transience。　It　was　a　magnificent　self…assertion　on　the　part　of
both　of　them；　he　asserted　himself　before　her；　he　felt　himself
infinitely　male　and　infinitely　irresistible；　she　asserted
herself　before　him；　she　knew　herself　infinitely　desirable；　and
hence　infinitely　strong。　And　after　all；　what　could　either　of
them　get　from　such　a　passion　but　a　sense　of　his　or　of　her　own
maximum　self；　in　contradistinction　to　all　the　rest　of　life？
Wherein　was　something　finite　and　sad；　for　the　human　soul　at　its
maximum　wants　a　sense　of　the　infinite。

Nevertheless；　it　was　begun　now；　this　passion；　and　must　go　on；
the　passion　of　Ursula　to　know　her　own　maximum　self；　limited　and
so　defined　against　him。　She　could　limit　and　define　herself
against　him；　the　male；　she　could　be　her　maximum　self；　female；　oh
female；　triumphant　for　one　moment　in　exquisite　assertion　against
the　male；　in　supreme　contradistinction　to　the　male。

The　next　afternoon；　when　he　came；　prowling；　she　went　with　him
across　to　the　church。　Her　father　was　gradually　gathering　in
anger　against　him；　her　mother　was　hardening　in　anger　against
her。　But　the　parents　were　naturally　tolerant　in　action。

They　went　together　across　the　churchyard；　Ursula　and
Skrebensky；　and　ran　to　hiding　in　the　church。　It　was　dimmer　in
there　than　the　sunny　afternoon　outside；　but　the　mellow　glow
among　the　bowed　stone　was　very　sweet。　The　windows　burned　in　ruby
and　in　blue；　they　made　magnificent　arras　to　their　bower　of
secret　stone。

〃What　a　perfect　place　for　a　rendezvous；〃　he　said；　in　a
hushed　voice；　glancing　round。

She　too　glanced　round　the　familiar　interior。　The　dimness　and
stillness　chilled　her。　But　her　eyes　lit　up　with　daring。　Here；
here　she　would　assert　her　indomitable　gorgeous　female　self；
here。　Here　she　would　open　her　female　flower　like　a　flame；　in
this　dimness　that　was　more　passionate　than　light。

They　hung　apart　a　moment；　then　wilfully　turned　to　each　other
for　the　desired　contact。　She　put　her　arms　round　him；　she　cleaved
her　body　to　his；　and　with　her　hands　pressed　upon　his　shoulders；
on　his　back；　she　seemed　to　feel　right　through　him；　to　know　his
young；　tense　body　right　through。　And　it　was　so　fine；　so　hard；
yet　so　exquisitely　subject　and　under　her　control。　She　reached
him　her　mouth　and　drank　his　full　kiss；　drank　it　fuller　and
fuller。

And　it　was　so　good；　it　was　very；　very　good。　She　seemed　to　be
filled　with　his　kiss；　filled　as　if　she　had　drunk　strong；　glowing
sunshine。　She　glowed　all　inside；　the　sunshine　seemed　to　beat
upon　her　heart　underneath；　she　had　drunk　so　beautifully。

She　drew　away；　and　looked　at　him　radiant；　exquisitely；
glowingly　beautiful；　and　satisfied；　but　radiant　as　an　illumined
cloud。

To　him　this　was　bitter；　that　she　was　so　radiant　and
satisfied。　She　laughed　upon　him；　blind　to　him；　so　full　of　her
own　bliss；　never　doubting　but　that　he　was　the　same　as　she　was。
And　radiant　as　an　angel　she　went　with　him　out　of　the　church；　as