white teeth。 〃You'll see。〃
The tanned girl shimmied off the stage and kissed Jenny on both cheeks。 〃Dan says you are his
seez…stirrh；〃 she said in a thick French accent。 〃I am so jealous of doz gorgeous bresssts！〃 she
reached out with both hands and gave each of Jenny's boobs a good hard squeeze。
Honk； honk！
〃So womanly； non？〃
〃Monique； I wouldn't……〃 Dan started to warn her。
〃Thanks；〃 Jenny interrupted； surprising everyone including herself。 She'd always been extremely
sensitive about her chest； with good reason； but Monique's little outburst seemed like a genuine
French pliment。 Besides； she didn't really mind that Damian and Lloyd were now well aware
that her boobs were the largest in the room。
〃Jennifer this is Monique。 Monique this is Jennifer。〃 Lloyd introduced them。 〃Monique is Dam…〃
〃Visiting from St。 Tropez；〃 Monique cut him off； her eyes burning with a look that had； 〃Shut up；
you idiot！〃 written all over it。 〃Are you ing to zee Plaza 'otel wid us？〃 she asked Jenny。
〃No； she ahs to go home；〃 Dan slurred。 〃It's late。〃 He glanced around the club with bleary eyes。
〃Isn't it？〃
Well his outfit was definitely tired。
Little sister lesson number two： Don't even think about telling her what to do。
〃No way；〃 Jenny corrected her brother。 〃I am so ing。〃
Damian slid down the fireman's pole and bounded up to them。 He'd changed into an olive green
tracksuit with the words JUICE ME smeared on the butt in white paint。 〃Ready to ruckus； yeah？〃
he demanded； clapping Dan and Lloyd on their backs。
Monique flashed him a sweet I'm…only…tolerating…you…because…you're…famous sort of smile and
hooked her arm possessively through Dan's。
Lloyd grabbed Jenny and squashed her into sort of a three…way bear hug with Damian。 〃Damian；
meet Jennifer。 Jennifer； meet Damian。〃
Jenny was so excited； it was a good thing Lloyd was hugging her so tightly or she would have
collapsed on the floor。 Damian made an exaggerated delighted gasping sound； like an overly gay
man discovering the cutest little doggie raincoat he'd ever seen。 Then he kissed Jenny on the tip of
her nose。
So maybe he wasn't Serena's new boyfriend。
〃Why don't Danny and Monique take the limo？ The rest of us can squeeze into a cab？〃 Damian
offered。
〃I could sit on someone's lap；〃 Jenny volunteered。
〃Of course you can；〃 said Lloyd。
〃Of course you can；〃 Damian agreed。
Of course she can。
AIN'T NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS
〃I take more APs than anyone else in my class； and I have an A average；〃 Blair plained。
〃Then you should have applied early admission；〃 Stan 5 advised。
〃But you don't understand。 I kissed my interviewer；〃 Blair whispered loudly； sounding like a
broken record。 〃My college advisor said there was no way she'd take me early。〃
Stan 5 shrugged。 〃Smaller pool of applicants。 Better chance to shine。〃
Blair gritted her teeth to hold back a volley of expletives。 She'd planned on applying to Yale early
admission since she was thirteen years old。 Why had she listened to clueless； bloody…nosed；
wig…wearing Ms。 Glos and not trusted her instincts？ And why hadn't she met Stan 5 like； a year
ago； when he could have been really useful？
They were lying on their stomachs on the double bed in the room Stan 5's grandfather kept for him；
and had already thumbed through every Yale catalog since 1947； laughing at the clothes people
wore and the corny phrases underneath the photos。 Things like； 〃Here's looking at you kid！〃 and
〃Ain't nobody here but us chickens！〃 The room was decorated with Yale paraphernalia： Yale swim
team pennants； Stan III's B。A。 in English and dramatic arts； a New Haven newspaper article
featuring Stan III as one of Yale's most gifted young actors； and a yellow card from the Yale
University registrar listing every semester old Stan had made the dean's list。
〃It looks like your grandfather's whole life；〃 Blair observed。 Her shoes where half on； half off； and
she bounced them up and down on the ends of her toes。
Stan 5 rolled over and looked at the ceiling。 〃Yeah；〃 he answered hollowly。
Blair wasn't sure why he sounded so bummed。 After all； Yale was her whole life too； but she was
the one still stuck on the wait list。
Stan 5 reached out and twirled a strand of Blair's dark hair around his finger。 〃We should stop
talking about this；〃 he told her letting the twirl go； 〃Or you're going to get serisouly depressed。〃
〃But…〃 Blair started to say。 Exactly when were they going to devise a plan to get her into Yale？
Stan 5 rolled over and grabbed her arms； pulling her toward him。 〃We should stop talking period；〃
he said； his eyes hungrily searching her face。 〃Like I said； my grandfather and I are really close。
So don't worry about getting in； okay？〃
This was the part in the movie where the music was supposed to slow down； heads were supposed
to meet； and boy and girl were supposed to kiss so passionately that their clothes would wind up in
a pile on the floor while the windows steamed up。 Stan 5 was going to get her into Yale！ But for
some reason… maybe it was the quantity of Yale paraphernalia on the walls and all over the floor；
or maybe it was because she'd drunk four glasses of champagne at a party she hadn't been invited
to； or maybe it was because kissing any other boy other than Nate felt truly naughty… Blair couldn't
manage to close her eyes and kiss Stanford Parris V。 All she could do was snort and giggle like a
twelve…year…old。
She pushed him away； snorting and giggling so hard she chocked。
〃What？〃 Stan 5 asked； pushing himself up on his elbows。 His blond hair fell into his eyes and he
pushed it away。
Blair snorted again。 She felt giddy and confused and very much in need of a little girl talk with
Serena。 〃I don't know。〃 She got up and jammed her feet into her shoes。 〃Um； I have to go find
someone。 Maybe I'll see you later？〃
Stan 5 seemed to enjoy how hot and bothered she was。 He grinned cockily at her and raised his
blond eyebrows。 〃Maybe。〃
As she left the room； Blair tried to pull herself together。
Not maybe。 Definitely。
THE WOMEN ARE SMARTER
〃I never really thought of Hamlet as a tragedy per se；〃 Serena found herself telling Stanford Parris
III。 She'd only skimmed Hamlet when they had to write an essay on it for English class； but she'd
always been an excellent bullshit artist。 Even without reading every word she'd noticed that
Hamlet reminded her of Dan Humphrey； who she'd hooked up with earlier in the fall。 So woeful
and neurotic。 〃I mean； all he needed was a little Zoloft or something and he's probably have
conquered all of Scandinavia and had； like； a wife in every country。〃
Well； hello； Miss I Know All There Is To Know About Shakespeare。
Mr。 Parris nodded。 〃Wellbutrin。 That's what I take。〃
Like she really needed to know that。
〃I like reading；〃 Serena went on； pletely bemused by what was ing out of her mouth。 〃As
long as I have nothing else to do；〃 she corrected herself。
Which was almost never。
〃I guess that's the trouble I'm going to have； you know； with picking a major？ I won't be a