Jennifer； you'd be in one of the thirteen…to…fifteen…year…old bundles。 I'll walk you to the area where
the Giant Tortoise bundle is gathered for this mornings work and then let your student guide take
over。〃
The floor of the classroom was covered in sand； the walls were lined with stalks of bamboo； and
the ceiling was plastered with palm fronds。 NO SMOKING； read a huge hand…painted sign
overhead。
Jenny had never really been much of a smoker； but she was dying for a cigarette。 She pulled off
her white Miss Sixty cardigan to reveal the cute little Lacoste alligator marching across the left
boob of her new pink shirt； given to her by Lloyd Collins of the Raves。 Anything to avoid
being a Giant Tortoise。
〃Hakuna matata； Miss。 Calliope；〃 a pudgy girl wearing what looked like a goatskin bikini greeted
them。
〃Hakuna matata； Cherisse；〃 Calliope replied with a smile。 〃The Giant Tortoise bundle is exploring
the country of Namibia in Africa this week；〃 she told Jenny and Rufus； as if that explained
everything。 Jenny stared as the rest of the Giant Tortoises… five greasy…haired； pudgy；
crooked…tooth girls and three skinny； glasses…wearing； acne…ridden boys… all wearing some form of
goatskin clothing that might have been stylish is it had been designed by Stella McCartney instead
of Hippies R Us。 They stood in a circle； their hands joined as they sang a Namibian rain chant。
Even Rufus looked a little startled。 〃Do you have any data on where your graduates go to
college？〃 he asked； sounding a lot like the parents of Jenny's Constance Billard classmates。
Although he'd never admit it； Rufus was deadly serious about the whole college admission thing
and had nearly opened all of Dan's acceptance letters before he even got home from school。 He
may have been an anarchist； but he was a strong believer in formal education。
Calliope frowned。 〃We try to keep our school as non…petitive as possible。 Our students are
encouraged to take some time off and explore the world。 Live off the grid。 Once they decided what
their calling is； they may or may not seek further training。〃
Whatever the hell that meant。
〃I hear you're an artist。〃 Cherisse smiled at Jenny with crooked yellow teeth。 〃e； I'll show you
our mural。 It's done entirely in buck's dung。〃
Rufus held Jenny's hand protectively as Cherisse led them over to a bizarre mural of elephants and
zebras cavorting in the grass。 Cherisse dipped her hands into a clay bowl on the floor and smeared
something brown on the back of one of the elephants。 Rufus shook his head tiredly and pulled
Jenny over to a table in the corner of the room； where he sat down。 He loved the idea of an
alternative school； but deep down he wanted his daughter to graduate from Berkeley or Columbia；
not wander around the world painting murals with deer shit。
Jenny sat down across from him and pulled a vial of Chanel Vamp nail polish out of her pink
DKNY hobo bag。 〃So why are we here again？〃 she demanded。 She unscrewed the vial and began
painting her nails。
Rufus readjusted his baseball cap and rubbed his bleary eyes； looking like he needed about six
more hours of sleep and three more cups of coffee。 〃Look； Jen；〃 he told her earnestly。 〃You can't
just shack up with rock stars in hotels and lie to your father all the time。 But I want you to be
happy。 What do you want to do？〃
Jenny screwed the top back on her nail polish and put it back in her purse。 She knew her dad
wasn't going to like what she had to say； because he secretly adored having a house full of crazy
kids to embarrass and infuriate。 But the only way she was going to give up her career as a Raves
groupie was if she got to go away to school； where the opportunities for adventure were limitless。
Hey； he'd said it himself： He wanted her to be happy。
Across the room Calliope Trask was helping the Giant Tortoise fling buck's dung at the mural；
Jackson Pollock…style。
Jenny looked up at her dear father with hopeful doe…brown eyes； her red mouth forming the shape
of a heart as she murmured eight melodic words：
〃Dad； may I please go to boarding school？〃
A BRIEF REMINDER
Dear Constance Billard Seniors；
As if you needed reminding； Senior Spa Weekend starts tomorrow！ We just wanted to tell you how
excited we are！ And to ensure that you're that you're appropriately dressed for the boat ride； we've
had these fantastic Senior Spa Weekend long…sleeved baby tees made just for you by Three Dots。
Now remember； we're the Archibalds' guests。 Let's try to behave like ladies。 But as soon as we get
to the Coateses' estate… anything goes！
Can't wait… see you tomorrow！！！
Love；
Your classmates； Isabel and Kati
A BIRD'S…EYE VIEW
It was a perfect afternoon for sailing。 The sun was hot and the breeze was cool。 The sky was deep
blue and the water was calm。 Small round tables with silk tablecloths in the Charlotte's colors…
gold and blue… littered the deck； a heavy marble vase full of floating candles at the centre of each
one。 In the bow of the yacht a man wearing a white tux played the double bass while a fat woman
in red muumuu crooned Nina Simone songs flawlessly。 The tenants of all the finest Upper East
Side addresses clutched their cocktails and chatted to one another； wearing the latest couture resort
wear bought in Cannes and St。 Barts。 Behind them the skyline grew smaller and smaller as they
coursed towards Long Island Sound and Sag Harbor。
〃How is your son？〃 Misty Bass asked Mrs。 Archibald； her razor…thin black eyebrows knitted in
concern。 A diamond cluster necklace swung heavily on her Cap d'Antibes…tanned neck as the
Charlotte bobbed in the waves； white sails billowing。 〃I hear he's in trouble again。 It isn't。。。 drugs；
is it？〃 she ventured； eager for the latest gossip。
〃Nate is fine。〃 Nate's mother bristled； the corners of her red…painted lips turned defiantly down。
〃He's home； studying；〃 she lied； refusing to admit that Nate had been grounded for stealing the
family boat。 〃Is Chuck excited about military college？〃
Misty Bass poured the rest of her bourbon down her throat。 Chuck had his own apartment and
she'd been traveling a lot lately； so the truth was she hadn't seen him in a while。 〃Oh； yes；〃 she
replied vaguely。 She glanced around for a cocktail server。 〃I do wish these glasses weren't quite so
small。〃
〃Oh； Misty！〃 Eleanor Waldorf cried； throwing her arms around her old friend； 〃You just have to
see the villa in Tuscany I bought for Cyrus。 It has a website and everything！〃
On the leeward side of the boat； the guests' elder daughters were clustered in tightly packed groups；
wearing their long…sleeved pink Senior Spa Weekend T…shirts； hiding from their parents； and
pretending their Cokes weren't spiked with rum。
〃I can't believe Nate Archibald didn't even e to his own party；〃 Isabel Coates plained。
〃That's because we said no boy allowed； stupid；〃 Kati Farkas replied； thinking that for once she
sounder smarter than her best friend。
〃Don't be ridiculous；〃 Isabel scoffed。 〃Boys are allowed on the boat； just not at my house for Spa
Weekend。〃
D