我们曾在报纸上读到过关于女人失踪、被强奸或谋杀的报道，她们曾错误地以为自己是安全的。事实是，我们依旧是毫无防卫的脆弱的人。这并非是旧有的偏见在阻碍我们追求自由的道路，那些爱我们的人，也并非出于“不体面”的想法才要保护我们。
我现在知道了，自己是多么幸运。有些女人则没那么幸运。因为对她们或其家人来说，危险变成了现实。
自人类启蒙时期就有这样一句话：女人为爱而性，男人为性而爱。这让我想到了近代的风流浪子卡萨诺瓦，一个擅长在那些有魅力而成功的单身女性熟睡时走进她们屋子的男人。
她们醒来时，却常会感觉安全、亲切和动情——多么可怕的折磨。最后，他总能哄她们上床，这一切竟没有任何暴力和强行的迹象。实际上，他的确是在尽力满足她们，有几个女人甚至还要求他回来。
事情最终败露时，他被指控犯有无数次连环强奸罪。起诉者花了很大的工夫才让受害的人们指证他。她们都深感羞愧，不是因为被强奸，而是因为她们几乎没有反抗。
辩护律师认为，所有的被害人都是自愿的，被告的罪行仅仅是闯入了别人的家。被告自己说，他从来没想伤害任何人。他只想帮助那些孤独的女人找到真爱的感觉。打开她们钢铁般的心的唯一方法就是在她们不设防时捕获芳心，有一天她们会感谢他缓解了自己冰冷自负的盔甲给她们带来的痛苦。
但受害者的报告为审判起了决定性作用。他的行为明显地给这些女人留下了与最恶毒的暴力攻击同样的创伤。
他被判处长期监禁。整个国家的女性都为之松了口气。
那些自说嫁得好的女人常常是嫁得不怎么样的一群。我很同情那些在婚礼上接受祝福的新娘，人们都说她终于钓上了一个好男人。这似乎暗示：她占了什么便宜，得到了多于自己应得的东西，她的新郎似乎应该吸引更好的人。
不管年龄、长相、财富或教育背景等这些世俗标准为何，也不管这世界如何衡量人类的价值，总之，这些祝福都清晰地传达着同一个讯息：她是幸运的，他却不是。
这个女人的未来很难预料。她或许竭尽一生都在试图证明那些人是错的，向她丈夫的家人和朋友表明他没有选错人。
这样的战役很难取胜，再多的努力、自我牺牲和公正都无法改变最初的事实，她无法获得最初即被否认的尊重。
对她而言，即使是在自己家人面前，争取自己的权利也会变得非常困难。孩子们会很快察觉这种弱点然后利用它，直至最终毁掉她。想想你所知道的那些被宠坏的、骄纵而蛮横的孩子吧，他们不都是出自一个女人对自己在家庭中的地位不自信的家庭吗？书 包 网 txt小说上传分享
Gender 性别（2）
有意思的是，在很多这样女人陷落的陷阱中，男人似乎并不受其影响。
因此我们可以说：女人在没有明确自己的全部价值前不应该结婚。
我在电视上看到了一个关于斑马的节目。在斑马群里，雄性照顾着他的家庭，每个雄斑马都有他所负责的几个雌斑马和小斑马。
雄斑马带领、保护着她们，寻找水以及新的栖息地，在遭遇危险时始终站在最前面。
这很打动我。在不久以前，这也是我们社会中男性的角色。男人是权威的象征：引导者、带领者、奉献者，不论在家里还是其他地方都是如此。
现在，随着女性的独立，家长制逐渐没落。反之，我们有了两个人来分担重任。这给女性带来了更多的满足，当然，我想有些男性也从中得到了满足。
但是，那些羞涩的、缺乏安全感以及对自己男性特征不怎么自信的男人怎么办呢？那些没有社会支援的、没有成功的男人该怎么办呢？自信的女人们残酷地设定着挑选的标准，她们通常挑那些强健的、有能力而有抱负的男人。
想想那无数个单身母亲吧，曾经也有一个男人是她们家庭的主心骨。可这些男人都跑到哪儿去了呢？是什么让他们逃开了？他们难道是同性恋、孤独而绝望的男人，还是有自杀倾向的男人？
在人类进化的过程中，某些地方似乎缺失了，而由此，也生出了受害者。
It seems to me there is no such thing as a sexually liberated woman。 Liberation exists between two people or not at all。
As a concept it is by all means present in the heads of innocent young girls； who proudly look upon their bodies as assets to be enjoyed。
Unlike her mother； who regarded sex with shame and fear； through a romantic haze； today’s woman is a free spirit； confident in her attractions。 She walks at ease into the waiting world to sample what it has to offer on equal terms with the men。
Chances are； she may hook a fellow who can’t conceive of such a thing as women’s sexual liberation； but simply sees a female offering herself for free。
Depending on his level； such a man will either take advantage； break her heart； or impregnate； deceive； abandon； use； abuse； degrade； exploit her； go as far as beat or rape her。
Years later the woman will look back； wondering what destroyed her。 Whatever happened to her sexuality？ Her confidence？ Not to mention her attractions？
It has to be said that those lucky few who team up with a like…minded partner； go on to have the best of all relations； whether a fling or a lifetime mitment： an equal match of balance and respect； of shared pleasure and mutual enjoyment。
So – all aspiring liberated young women： Be very careful in your choice of mate； even for a one…night stand。
In one of our great Victorian novels I read the following pronounce…ment： ‘The terrible curse of being poor is that we cannot afford to protect our women。’
In the old days； rich ladies never moved without an escort； while the women of the poor were sent into the world little more than children； vulnerable； exposed； fair game to anyone。
When I grew up； my mother told me it was unseemly for young girls to go about alone at night or travel without an older panion。
I scoffed at such ridiculous conventions designed to keep demure young ladies in control。 I was a child of the late twentieth century； intending to suit myself。 See the world； go where I pleased； at any hour I fancied。
I can recall the thrill of freedom hitching a lift down the German motorway； solitary strolls through Paris’ Latin Quarter in the early hours of the morning； illuminated baroque churches in Rome； splendid in the dead of night。 Though once in London’s Soho I got lost。 A real thug helped me to a taxi； saying I wasn’t safe there on my own。
In newspapers we read reports of women missing； raped or murdered； having mistakenly believed they were safe。 The truth is； we are still as vulnerable unprotected。 It’s not just old…fashioned prejudice that es in the way of our freedom。 And not just fear of misbehaviour that makes our loved ones want to shelter us。
Gender 性别（3）
I know now that I was incredibly lucky。 Some women weren’t。 To them； and their families； the danger became real。
Even in our enlightened days； the saying goes that women give sex for love； while men give love for ； who specialised in entering the homes of attractive； successful single women as they slept。
Once awake； they were subjected to a terrifying ordeal of reassur…ance； tenderness； affection。 In the end he gently coaxed them into bed： no sign of force or violence。 Indeed； he did his best to satisfy them； a few even asked him to e back。
Eventually found out； he went on trial accused of countless serial rapes。 The prosecution had a hard time getting victims to testify。 They were so deeply ashamed – not of having been raped； but of having offered no resistance。
The defence claimed all encounters had been consensual。 His only crime was that of entering people’s homes。 The man himself said it was never his intention to hurt anyone。 He just wished to introduce these lonesome women to the nature of true love。 The only way to open up their hearts of steel was by catching them off guard。 One day they’d thank him for easing off their armour of cold self…sufficiency。
The victim impact reports were decisive。 His actions obviously left them with a trauma as bad as the most vicious； violent attacks。
He was given a long pr