“nailed two singing geeks；” as he’d put it； while “a third one
watched。” He’d made it sound as though Lily had been there the
entire time； agreeably perched on the couch and watching her big；
bad man go about being manly。 Lily had sworn to never let herself
really fall for another guy； and so far seemed to be keeping her
promise。 She slept with plenty of them； but she sure didn’t let them
stick around long enough to actually run the risk of discovering
something likable about them。
I looked at him again and tried to find the old Benji in this guy’s
face。 He had been athletic and cute。 Just a normal guy。 But Bergman
had turned him into a shell of a human。 He was wearing an oversize；
wrinkled suit and looked as though he was hoping to suck crack
cocaine out of his Marlboro。 He seemed already overworked even
though it was only seven o’clock； and this made me feel better。
Because it was payback for being an asshole to Lily； and because I
wasn’t the only one dragging myself to work at such an obscene hour。
He was probably getting paid 150；000 a year to be so miserable； but
whatever； at least I wasn’t alone。
Benji saluted me with his lit cigarette； glowing eerily in the still
dark winter morning； and motioned for me to e over。 I was nervous
I’d be late； but Eduardo gave me his “Don’t worry； she’s not here
yet—you’re fine” look and I walked over to Benji。 He looked
bleary…eyed and hopeless。 He probably thoughthe had a tyrannical
boss。 Hah！ If only he knew。 I wanted to laugh out loud。
“Hey； I noticed you’re the only one here this early every day；” he
muttered at me while I dug around in my bag for lipstick before
hitting the elevators。 “What’s the deal？”
He looked so tired； so beaten…down； that I felt a surge of sympathy
and kindness。 But then I felt my legs nearly give out from
exhaustion； and I remembered the way Lily had looked when one of
Benji’s dumb lacrosse buddies had asked if she’d been happy to watch
or really actually wanted to join in； and I lost my cool。
“Well； my deal is that I work for a rather demanding woman； and I
need to get here two and a half hours before the rest of the goddamn
magazine so that I’m prepared for her；” I said； my tone dripping
with anger and sarcasm。
“Whoa。 Just asking。 Sorry； though； it sounds pretty bad。 Which one
do you work for？”
“I work for Miranda Priestly；” I said； and prayed for a nonreaction。
Something about having a seemingly well…educated； successful
professional have no idea who Miranda was made me very； very happy。
Delighted almost。 And luckily； this one didn’t let me down。 He
shrugged and inhaled and looked at me expectantly。
“She’s the editor in chief ofRunway； ” I lowered my voice and began
with glee； “and pretty much the biggest bitch I’ve ever met。 I mean；
I’ve honestly never met anyone like her。 She’s really not even
human。” I had a litany of plaints I would’ve liked to have dumped
on Benji； but theRunway Paranoid Turnaround came on full…force。 I
became immediately nervous； almost paranoid； convinced that this
unknowing； uncaring person was somehow one of Miranda’s lackeys；
sent to spy on me from theObserver orPage Six。 I knew it was
ridiculous； pletely absurd。 After all； I had personally known
Benji for years now and was quite sure he wasn’t working for Miranda
in any capacity。 Just not totally sure。 After all； how could you be
totally sure？ And who knew who could be standing behind me at that
very second； overhearing every one of my nasty words？ Damage control
was required immediately。
“Of course； she IS the most powerful woman in fashion and
publishing； and you just can’t get to the top of two major
industries in New York City handing out candy all day long。 Um； it’s
understandable that she’s a little tough to work for； you know？ I
would be； too。 Yeah； so； um； I have to run now。 Good seeing you
again。” And I ducked away； as I often had the past few weeks when I
found myself talking to someone other than Lily or Alex or my
parents and I couldn’t help myself from bashing the witch。
“Hey； don’t feel too bad；” he called after me as I headed toward the
elevator bank。 “I’ve been here since last Thursday morning。” And
with that； he dropped his smoldering butt and half…heartedly stamped
it into the cement。
“Morning； Eduardo；” I said； looking at him with my best tired；
pathetic eyes。 “I fucking hate Mondays。”
“Hey； buddy； don’t worry。 At least you beat her here this morning；”
he said； smiling。 He was referring； of course； to those miserable
mornings when Miranda would show up at fiveA 。M。 and need to be
escorted upstairs since she refused to carry an access card。 She’d
then pace the office； calling Emily and me over and over until one
of us could manage to wake up； get ready； and get to work as if a
national security emergency were unfolding。
I pushed against the turnstile； praying that this Monday would be
the exception； that he’d let me pass without a performance。
Negative。
“Yo； tell me what you want； what you really； really want；”he sang
with his huge； toothy smile and Spanish accent。 And all the pleasure
of making the cabbie happy and finding out that I had arrived ahead
of Miranda vanished。 I was left； as I was every morning； wanting to
reach across the security counter and tear the flesh from Eduardo’s
face。 But since I was such a good sport and he was one of my only
friends in the place； I weakly acquiesced。“I’ll tell you what I
want； what I really； really want； I wanna—I wanna—I wanna—I wanna—I
really； really； really wanna zigga zig aaaaaahhhh；” I sang meekly in
a pitiful tribute to the Spice Girls’ nineties hit。 And once again；
Eduardo grinned and buzzed me through。
“Hey； don’t forget： July sixteenth！” he called after me。
“I know； July sixteenth 。 。 。” I called back； a reference to our
shared birthdays。 I don’t remember how or why he had discovered my
birthdate； but he adored that we had the same one。 And for some
inexplicable reason； it became a part of our personal morning
ritual。 Every single goddamn day。
There were eight elevators on the Elias…Clark side； half for floors
one to seventeen； half for seventeen and up。 Only the first bank
really mattered since most of the big names were on the first
seventeen floors； they advertised their presence with illuminated
panels over the elevator doors。 There was a free； state…of…the…art
gym on the second floor for employees； plete with a full Nautilus
circuit and at least a hundred Stairmasters； treadmills； and
elliptical machines。 The locker rooms had saunas； hot tubs； steam
rooms； and attendants in maids’ un