strange it looked; too tidy; like I didn't live here at all—was dangerous。
I pushed that thought from my mind; and concentrated; as I got dressed; on the fact that I was going to
see Jacob again today。 The thought made me feel almost… hopeful。 Maybe it would be the same as
yesterday。 Maybe I wouldn't have to remind myself to look interested and to nod or smile at appropriate
intervals; the way I had to with everyone else。 Maybe… but I wouldn't trust this to last; either。 Wouldn't
trust it to be the same—so easy—as yesterday。 I wasn't going to set myself up for disappointment like
that。
At breakfast; Charlie was being careful; too。 He tried to hide his scrutiny; keeping his eyes on his eggs
until he thought I wasn't looking。
〃What are you up to today?〃 he asked; eyeing a loose thread on the edge of his cuff like he wasn't paying
much attention to my answer。
〃I'm going to hang out with Jacob again。〃
He nodded without looking up。 〃Oh;〃 he said。
〃Do you mind?〃 I pretended to worry。 〃I could stay…〃
He glanced up quickly; a hint of panic in his eyes。 〃No; no! You go ahead。 Harry was going to e up
to watch the game with me anyway。〃
〃Maybe Harry could give Billy a ride up;〃 I suggested。 The fewer witnesses the better。
〃That's a great idea。〃
I wasn't sure if the game was just an excuse for kicking me out; but he looked excited enough now。 He
headed to the phone while I donned my rain jacket。 I felt selfconscious with the checkbook shoved in
my jacket pocket。 It was something I never used。
Outside; the rain came down like water slopped from a bucket。 I had to drive more slowly than I wanted
to; I could hardly see a car length in front of the truck。 But I finally made it through the muddy lanes to
Jacob's house。 Before I'd killed the engine; the front door opened and Jacob came running out with a
huge black umbrella。
He held it over my door while I opened it。
〃Charlie called—said you were on your way;〃 Jacob explained with a grin。
Effortlessly; without a conscious mand to the muscles around my lips; my answering smile spread
across my face。 A strange feeling of warmth bubbled up in my throat; despite the icy rain splattering on
my cheeks。
〃Hi; Jacob。〃
〃Good call on inviting Billy up。〃 He held up his hand for a high five。
I had to reach so high to slap his hand that he laughed。
Harry showed up to get Billy just a few minutes later。 Jacob took me on a brief tour of his tiny room
while we waited to be unsupervised。
〃So where to; Mr。 Goodwrench?〃 I asked as soon as the door closed behind Billy。
Jacob pulled a folded paper out of his pocket and smoothed it out。 〃We'll start at the dump first; see if
we can get lucky。 This could get a little expensive;〃 he warned me。 〃Those bikes are going to need a lot
of help before they'll run again。〃 My face didn't look worried enough; so he continued。 〃I'm talking about
maybe more than a hundred dollars here。〃
I pulled my checkbook out; fanned myself with it; and rolled my eyes at his worries。 〃We're covered。〃
It was a very strange kind of day。 I enjoyed myself。 Even at the dump; in the slopping rain and
ankledeep mud。 I wondered at first if it was just the aftershock of losing the numbness; but I didn't think
that was enough of an explanation。
I was beginning to think it was mostly Jacob。 It wasn't just that he was always so happy to see me; or
that he didn't watch me out of the corner of his eye; waiting for me to do something that would mark me
as crazy or depressed。 It was nothing that related to me at all。
It was Jacob himself。 Jacob was simply a perpetually happy person; and he carried that happiness with
him like an aura; sharing it with whoever was near him。 Like an earthbound sun; whenever someone was
within his gravitational pull; Jacob warmed them。 It was natural; a part of who he was。 No wonder I was
so eager to see him。
Even when he mented on the gaping hole in my dashboard; it didn't send me into a panic like it
should have。
〃Did the stereo break?〃 he wondered。
〃Yeah;〃 I lied。
He poked around in the cavity。 〃Who took it out? There's a lot of damage…〃
〃I did;〃 I admitted。
He laughed。 〃Maybe you shouldn't touch the motorcycles too much。〃
〃No problem。〃
According to Jacob; we did get lucky at the dump。 He was very excited about several greaseblackened
pieces of twisted metal that he found; I was just impressed that he could tell what they were supposed to
be。
From there we went to the Checker Auto Parts down in Hoquiam。 In my truck; it was more than a two
hour drive south on the winding freeway; but the time passed easily with Jacob。 He chattered about his
friends and his school; and I found myself asking questions; not even pretending; truly curious to hear
what he had to say。
〃I'm doing all the talking;〃 he plained after a long story about Quil and the trouble he'd stirred up by
asking out a senior's steady girlfriend。 〃Why don't you take a turn? What's going on in Forks? It has to be
more exciting than La Push。〃
〃Wrong;〃 I sighed。 〃There's really nothing。 Your friends are a lot more interesting than mine。 I like your
friends。 Quil's funny。〃
He frowned。 〃I think Quil likes you; too。〃
I laughed。 〃He's a little young for me。〃
Jacob's frown deepened。 〃He's not that much younger than you。 It's just a year and a few months。〃
I had a feeling we weren't talking about Quil anymore。 I kept my voice light; teasing。 〃Sure; but;
considering the difference in maturity between guys and girls; don't you have to count that in dog years?
What does that make me; about twelve years older?〃
He laughed; rolling his eyes。 〃Okay; but if you're going to get picky like that; you have to average in size;
too。 You're so small; I'll have to knock ten years off your total。〃
〃Five foot four is perfectly average。〃 I sniffed。 〃It's not my fault you're a freak。〃
We bantered like that till Hoquiam; still arguing over the correct formula to determine age—I lost two
more years because I didn't know how to change a tire; but gained one back for being in charge of the
bookkeeping at my house—until we were in Checker; and Jacob had to concentrate again。 We found
everything left on his list; and Jacob felt confident that he could make a lot of progress with our haul。
By the time we got back to La Push; I was twentythree and he was thirty—he was definitely weighting
skills in his favor。
I hadn't forgotten the reason for what I was doing。 And; even though I was enjoying myself more than I'd
thought possible; there was no lessening of my original desire。 I still wanted to cheat。 It was senseless;
and I really didn't care。 I was going to be as reckless as I could possibly manage in Forks。 I would not
be the only keeper of an empty contract。 Getting to spend time with Jacob was just a much bigger perk
than I'd expected。
Billy wasn't back yet; so we didn't have to be sneaky about unloading our day's spoils。 As soon as we
had everything laid out on the plastic floor next to Jacob's toolbox; he went right to work; still talking and
laughing while his fingers b