1 twilight暮色- 第36部分


〃I　was　keeping　tabs　on　Jessica；　not　carefully　—　like　I　said；　only　you　
could　find　trouble　in　Port　Angeles　—　and　at　first　I　didn't　notice　when　
you　took　off　on　your　own。　Then；　when　I　realized　that　you　weren't　with　her　
anymore；　I　went　looking　for　you　at　the　bookstore　I　saw　in　her　head。　I　
could　tell　that　you　hadn't　gone　in；　and　that　you'd　gone　south…　and　I　knew　
you　would　have　to　turn　around　soon。　So　I　was　just　waiting　for　you；　
randomly　searching　through　the　thoughts　of　people　on　the　street　—　to　see　
if　anyone　had　noticed　you　so　I　would　know　where　you　were。　I　had　no　reason　
to　be　worried…　but　I　was　strangely　anxious…〃　He　was　lost　in　thought；　
staring　past　me；　seeing　things　I　couldn't　imagine。　

〃I　started　to　drive　in　circles；　still…　listening。　The　sun　was　finally　
setting；　and　I　was　about　to　get　out　and　follow　you　on　foot。　And　then　—〃　
He　stopped；　clenching　his　teeth　together　in　sudden　fury。　He　made　an　
effort　to　calm　himself。　

〃Then　what？〃　I　whispered。　He　continued　to　stare　over　my　head。　

〃I　heard　what　they　were　thinking；〃　he　growled；　his　upper　lip　curling　
slightly　back　over　his　teeth。　〃I　saw　your　face　in　his　mind。〃　He　suddenly　
leaned　forward；　one　elbow　appearing　on　the　table；　his　hand　covering　his　
eyes。　The　movement　was　so　swift　it　startled　me。　

〃It　was　very…　hard　—　you　can't　imagine　how　hard　—　for　me　to　simply　take　
you　away；　and　leave　them…　alive。〃　His　voice　was　muffled　by　his　arm。　〃I　
could　have　let　you　go　with　Jessica　and　Angela；　but　I　was　afraid　if　you　
left　me　alone；　I　would　go　looking　for　them；〃　he　admitted　in　a　whisper。　

I　sat　quietly；　dazed；　my　thoughts　incoherent。　My　hands　were　folded　in　my　
lap；　and　I　was　leaning　weakly　against　the　back　of　the　seat。　He　still　had　
his　face　in　his　hand；　and　he　was　as　still　as　if　he'd　been　carved　from　the　
stone　his　skin　resembled。　

Finally　he　looked　up；　his　eyes　seeking　mine；　full　of　his　own　questions。　

〃Are　you　ready　to　go　home？〃　he　asked。　

〃I'm　ready　to　leave；〃　I　qualified；　overly　grateful　that　we　had　the　
hourlong　ride　home　together。　I　wasn't　ready　to　say　goodbye　to　him。　

The　waitress　appeared　as　if　she'd　been　called。　Or　watching。　

〃How　are　we　doing？〃　she　asked　Edward。　

〃We're　ready　for　the　check；　thank　you。〃　His　voice　was　quiet；　rougher；　
still　reflecting　the　strain　of　our　conversation。　It　seemed　to　muddle　her。　
He　looked　up；　waiting。　

〃Ssure；〃　she　stuttered。　〃Here　you　go。〃　She　pulled　a　small　leather　folder　
from　the　front　pocket　of　her　black　apron　and　handed　it　to　him。　

There　was　a　bill　in　his　hand　already。　He　slipped　it　into　the　folder　and　
handed　it　right　back　to　her。　

〃No　change。〃　He　smiled。　Then　he　stood　up；　and　I　scrambled　awkwardly　to　my　
feet。　

She　smiled　invitingly　at　him　again。　〃You　have　a　nice　evening。〃　

He　didn't　look　away　from　me　as　he　thanked　her。　I　suppressed　a　smile。　

He　walked　close　beside　me　to　the　door；　still　careful　not　to　touch　me。　I　
remembered　what　Jessica　had　said　about　her　relationship　with　Mike；　how　
they　were　almost　to　the　firstkiss　stage。　I　sighed。　Edward　seemed　to　hear　
me；　and　he　looked　down　curiously。　I　looked　at　the　sidewalk；　grateful　that　
he　didn't　seem　to　be　able　to　know　what　I　was　thinking。　

He　opened　the　passenger　door；　holding　it　for　me　as　I　stepped　in；　shutting　
it　softly　behind　me。　I　watched　him　walk　around　the　front　of　the　car；　
amazed；　yet　again；　by　how　graceful　he　was。　I　probably　should　have　been　
used　to　that　by　now　—　but　I　wasn't。　I　had　a　feeling　Edward　wasn't　the　

kind　of　person　anyone　got　used　to。　

Once　inside　the　car；　he　started　the　engine　and　turned　the　heater　on　high。　
It　had　gotten　very　cold；　and　I　guessed　the　good　weather　was　at　an　end。　I　
was　warm　in　his　jacket；　though；　breathing　in　the　scent　of　it　when　I　
thought　he　couldn't　see。　

Edward　pulled　out　through　the　traffic；　apparently　without　a　glance；　
flipping　around　to　head　toward　the　freeway。　

〃Now；〃　he　said　significantly；　〃it's　your　turn。〃　

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9。　THEORY　




〃Can　I　ask　just　one　more？〃　I　pleaded　as　Edward　accelerated　much　too　
quickly　down　the　quiet　street。　He　didn't　seem　to　be　paying　any　attention　
to　the　road。　

He　sighed。　

〃One；〃　he　agreed。　His　lips　pressed　together　into　a　cautious　line。　

〃Well…　you　said　you　knew　I　hadn't　gone　into　the　bookstore；　and　that　I　had　
gone　south。　I　was　just　wondering　how　you　knew　that。〃　

He　looked　away；　deliberating。　

〃I　thought　we　were　past　all　the　evasiveness；〃　I　grumbled。　

He　almost　smiled。　

〃Fine；　then。　I　followed　your　scent。〃　He　looked　at　the　road；　giving　me　
time　to　pose　my　face。　I　couldn't　think　of　an　acceptable　response　to　
that；　but　I　filed　it　carefully　away　for　future　study。　I　tried　to　refocus。　
I　wasn't　ready　to　let　him　be　finished；　now　that　he　was　finally　explaining　
things。　

〃And　then　you　didn't　answer　one　of　my　first　questions…〃　I　stalled。　

He　looked　at　me　with　disapproval。　〃Which　one？〃　

〃How　does　it　work　—　the　mindreading　thing？　Can　you　read　anybody's　mind；　
anywhere？　How　do　you　do　it？　Can　the　rest　of　your　family…　？〃　I　felt　silly；　
asking　for　clarification　on　makebelieve。　

〃That's　more　than　one；〃　he　pointed　out。　I　simply　intertwined　my　fingers　
and　gazed　at　him；　waiting。　

〃No；　it's　just　me。　And　I　can't　hear　anyone；　anywhere。　I　have　to　be　fairly　
close。　The　more　familiar　someone's…　'voice'　is；　the　farther　away　I　can　
hear　them。　But　still；　no　more　than　a　few　miles。〃　He　paused　thoughtfully。　
〃It's　a　little　like　being　in　a　huge　hall　filled　with　people；　everyone　
talking　at　once。　It's　just　a　hum　—　a　buzzing　of　voices　in　the　background。　
Until　I　focus　on　one　voice；　and　then　what　they're　thinking　is　clear。　

〃Most　of　the　time　I　tune　it　all　out　—　it　can　be　very　distracting。　And　
then　it's　easier　to　seem　normal〃　—　he　frowned　as　he　said　the　word　—　〃when　
I'm　not　accidentally　answering　someone's　thoughts　rather　than　their　
words。〃　

〃Why　do　you　think　you　can't　hear　me？〃　I　asked　curiously。　

He　looked　at　me；　his　eyes　enigmatic。　

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　murmured。　〃The　only　guess　I　have　is　that　maybe　your　

mind　doesn't　work　the　same　way　the　rest　of　theirs　do。　Like　your　thoughts　
are　on　the　AM　frequency　and　I'm　only　getting　FM。〃　He　grinned　at　me；　
suddenly　amused。　

〃My　mind　doesn't　work　right？　I'm　a　freak？〃　The　words　bothered　me　more　
than　they　should　—　probably　because　his　speculation　hit　home。　I'd　always　
suspected　as　much；　and　it　embarrassed　me　to　have　it　confirmed。　

〃I　hear　voices　in　my　mind　and　you're　worried　that　you're　the　freak；〃　he　
laughed。　〃Don't　worry；　it's　just　a　theory…〃　His　face　tightened。　〃Which　
brings　us　back　to　you。〃　

I　sighed。　How　to　begin？　

〃Aren't　we　past　all　the　evasions　now？〃　he　reminded　me　softly。　

I　looked　away　from　his　face　for　the　first　time；　trying　to　find　words。　I　
happened　to　notice　the　speedometer。　

〃Holy　crow！〃　I　shouted。　〃Slow　down！〃　

〃What's　wrong？〃　He　was　startled。　But　the　car　didn't　decelerate。　

〃You're　going　a　hundred　miles　an　hour！〃　I　was　still　shouting。　I　shot　a　
panicky　glance　out　the　window；　but　it　was　too　dark　to　see　much。　The　road　
was　only　visible　in　the　long　patch　of　bluish　brightness　from　the