Sometimes we make mistakes。 Me; for example; allowing myself to be alone
with you。〃
〃This is a mistake?〃 I heard the sadness in my voice; but I didn't know
if he could as well。
〃A very dangerous one;〃 he murmured。
We were both silent then。 I watched the headlights twist with the curves
of the road。 They moved too fast; it didn't look real; it looked like a
video game。 I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly; like the
black road beneath us; and I was hideously afraid that I would never have
another chance to be with him like this again — openly; the walls between
us gone for once。 His words hinted at an end; and I recoiled from the
idea。 I couldn't waste one minute I had with him。
〃Tell me more;〃 I asked desperately; not caring what he said; just so I
could hear his voice again。
He looked at me quickly; startled by the change in my tone。 〃What more do
you want to know?〃
〃Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people;〃 I suggested; my voice
still tinged with desperation。 I realized my eyes were wet; and I fought
against the grief that was trying to overpower me。
〃I don't want to be a monster。〃 His voice was very low。
〃But animals aren't enough?〃
He paused。 〃I can't be sure; of course; but I'd pare it to living on
tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians; our little inside joke。
It doesn't pletely satiate the hunger — or rather thirst。 But it keens
us strong enough to resist。 Most of the time。〃 His tone turned ominous。
〃Sometimes it's more difficult than others。〃
〃Is it very difficult for you now?〃 I asked。
He sighed。 〃Yes。〃
〃But you're not hungry now;〃 I said confidently — stating; not asking。
〃Why do you think that?〃
〃Your eyes。 I told you I had a theory。 I've noticed that people — men in
particular — are crabbier when they're hungry。〃
He chuckled。 〃You are observant; aren't you?〃
I didn't answer; I just listened to the sound of his laugh; mitting it
to memory。
〃Were you hunting this weekend; with Emmett?〃 I asked when it was quiet
again。
〃Yes。〃 He paused for a second; as if deciding whether or not to say
something。 〃I didn't want to leave; but it was necessary。 It's a bit
easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty。〃
〃Why didn't you want to leave?〃
〃It makes me… anxious… to be away from you。〃 His eyes were gentle but
intense; and they seemed to be making my bones turn soft。 〃I wasn't
joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over
last Thursday。 I was distracted all weekend; worrying about you。 And
after what happened tonight; I'm surprised that you did make it through a
whole weekend unscathed。〃 He shook his head; and then seemed to remember
something。 〃Well; not totally unscathed。〃
〃What?〃
〃Your hands;〃 he reminded me。 I looked down at my palms; at the
almosthealed scrapes across the heels of my hands。 His eyes missed
nothing。
〃I fell;〃 I sighed。
〃That's what I thought。〃 His lips curved up at the corners。 〃I suppose;
being you; it could have been much worse — and that possibility tormented
me the entire time I was away。 It was a very long three days。 I really
got on Emmett's nerves。〃 He smiled ruefully at me。
〃Three days? Didn't you just get back today?〃
〃No; we got back Sunday。〃
〃Then why weren't any of you in school?〃 I was frustrated; almost angry
as I thought of how much disappointment I had suffered because of his
absence。
〃Well; you asked if the sun hurt me; and it doesn't。 But I can't go out
in the sunlight — at least; not where anyone can see。〃
〃Why?〃
〃I'll show you sometime;〃 he promised。
I thought about it for a moment。
〃You might have called me;〃 I decided。
He was puzzled。 〃But I knew you were safe。〃
〃But I didn't know where you were。 I —〃 I hesitated; dropping my eyes。
〃What?〃 His velvety voice was pelling。
〃I didn't like it。 Not seeing you。 It makes me anxious; too。〃 I blushed
to be saying this out loud。
He was quiet。 I glanced up; apprehensive; and saw that his expression was
pained。
〃Ah;〃 he groaned quietly。 〃This is wrong。〃
I couldn't understand his response。 〃What did I say?〃
〃Don't you see; Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable;
but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved。〃 He turned his
anguished eyes to the road; his words flowing almost too fast for me to
understand。 〃I don't want to hear that you feel that way。〃 His voice was
low but urgent。 His words cut me。 〃It's wrong。 It's not safe。 I'm
dangerous; Bella — please; grasp that。〃
〃No。〃 I tried very hard not to look like a sulky child。
〃I'm serious;〃 he growled。
〃So am I。 I told you; it doesn't matter what you are。 It's too late。〃
His voice whipped out; low and harsh。 〃Never say that。〃
I bit my lip and was glad he couldn't know how much that hurt。 I stared
out at the road。 We must be close now。 He was driving much too fast。
〃What are you thinking?〃 he asked; his voice still raw。 I just shook my
head; not sure if I could speak。 I could feel his gaze on my face; but I
kept my eyes forward。
〃Are you crying?〃 He sounded appalled。 I hadn't realized the moisture in
my eyes had brimmed over。 I quickly rubbed my hand across my cheek; and
sure enough; traitor tears were there; betraying me。
〃No;〃 I said; but my voice cracked。
I saw him reach toward me hesitantly with his right hand; but then he
stopped and placed it slowly back on the steering wheel。
〃I'm sorry。〃 His voice burned with regret。 I knew he wasn't just
apologizing for the words that had upset me。
The darkness slipped by us in silence。
〃Tell me something;〃 he asked after another minute; and I could hear him
struggle to use a lighter tone。
〃Yes?〃
〃What were you thinking tonight; just before I came around the corner? I
couldn't understand your expression — you didn't look that scared; you
looked like you were concentrating very hard on something。〃
〃I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker — you know;
selfdefense。 I was going to smash his nose into his brain。〃 I thought of
the darkhaired man with a surge of hate。
〃You were going to fight them?〃 This upset him。 〃Didn't you think about
running?〃
〃I fall down a lot when I run;〃 I admitted。
〃What about screaming for help?〃
〃I was getting to that part。〃
He shook his head。 〃You were right — I'm definitely fighting fate trying
to keep you alive。〃
I sighed。 We were slowing; passing into the boundaries of Forks。 It had
taken less than twenty minutes。
〃Will I see you tomorrow?〃 I demanded。
〃Yes — I have a paper due; too。〃 He smiled。 〃I'll save you a seat at
lunch。〃
It was silly; after everything we'd been through tonight; how that little
promise sent flutters through my stomach; and made me unable to speak。
We were in front of Charlie's house。 The lights were on; my truck in its
place; everything utterly normal。 It was like waking from a dream。 He
stopped the car; but I didn't move。
〃Do you promise to be there tomorrow?〃
〃I promise。〃
I considered that for a moment; then nodded。 I pu