over； swiftly； but somehow still hesitantly； to sweep my hair back behind
my shoulder。
We were at the school by now。 He turned back to me as he pulled into a
parking space。
〃What music is in your CD player right now？〃 he asked； his face as somber
as if he'd asked for a murder confession。
I realized I'd never removed the CD Phil had given me。 When I said the
name of the band； he smiled crookedly； a peculiar expression in his eyes。
He flipped open a partment under his car's CD player； pulled out one
of thirty or so CDs that were jammed into the small space； and handed it
to me；
〃Debussy to this？〃 He raised an eyebrow。
It was the same CD。 I examined the familiar cover art； keeping my eyes
down。
It continued like that for the rest of the day。 While he walked me to
English； when he met me after Spanish； all through the lunch hour； he
questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my
existence。 Movies I'd liked and hated； the few places I'd been and the
many places I wanted to go； and books — endlessly books。
I couldn't remember the last time I'd talked so much。 More often than
not； I felt selfconscious； certain I must be boring him。 But the
absolute absorption of his face； and his neverending stream of
questions； pelled me to continue。 Mostly his questions were easy； only
a very few triggering my easy blushes。 But when I did flush； it brought
on a whole new round of questions。
Such as the time he asked my favorite gemstone； and I blurted out topaz
before thinking。 He'd been flinging questions at me with such speed that
I felt like I was taking one of those psychiatric tests where you answer
with the first word that es to mind。 I was sure he would have
continued down whatever mental list he was following； except for the
blush。 My face reddened because； until very recently； my favorite
gemstone was gar。 It was impossible； while staring back into his topaz
eyes； not to remember the reason for the switch。 And； naturally； he
wouldn't rest until I'd admitted why I was embarrassed。
〃Tell me；〃 he finally manded after persuasion failed — failed only
because I kept my eyes safely away from his face。
〃It's the color of your eyes today；〃 I sighed； surrendering； staring down
at my hands as I fiddled with a piece of my hair。 〃I suppose if you asked
me in two weeks I'd say onyx。〃 I'd given more information than necessary
in my unwilling honesty； and I worried it would provoke the strange anger
that flared whenever I slipped and revealed too clearly how obsessed I
was。
But his pause was very short。
〃What kinds of flowers do you prefer？〃 he fired off。
I sighed in relief； and continued with the psychoanalysis。
Biology was a plication again。 Edward had continued with his quizzing
up until Mr。 Banner entered the room； dragging the audiovisual frame
again。 As the teacher approached the light switch； I noticed Edward slide
his chair slightly farther away from mine。 It didn't help。 As soon as the
room was dark； there was the same electric spark； the same restless
craving to stretch my hand across the short space and touch his cold
skin； as yesterday。
I leaned forward on the table； resting my chin on my folded arms； my
hidden fingers gripping the table's edge as I fought to ignore the
irrational longing that unsettled me。 I didn't look at him； afraid that
if he was looking at me； it would only make selfcontrol that much
harder。 I sincerely tried to watch the movie； but at the end of the hour
I had no idea what I'd just seen。 I sighed in relief again when Mr。
Banner turned the lights on； finally glancing at Edward； he was looking
at me； his eyes ambivalent。
He rose in silence and then stood still； waiting for me。 We walked toward
the gym in silence； like yesterday。 And； also like yesterday； he touched
my face wordlessly — this time with the back of his cool hand； stroking
once from my temple to my jaw — before he turned and walked away。
Gym passed quickly as I watched Mike's oneman badminton show。 He didn't
speak to me today； either in response to my vacant expression or because
he was still angry about our squabble yesterday。 Somewhere； in a corner
of my mind； I felt bad about that。 But I couldn't concentrate on him。
I hurried to change afterward； ill at ease； knowing the faster I moved；
the sooner I would be with Edward。 The pressure made me more clumsy than
usual； but eventually I made it out the door； feeling the same release
when I saw him standing there； a wide smile automatically spreading
across my face。 He smiled in reaction before launching into more
crossexamination。
His questions were different now； though； not as easily answered。 He
wanted to know what I missed about home； insisting on descriptions of
anything he wasn't familiar with。 We sat in front of Charlie's house for
hours； as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around us in a sudden
deluge。
I tried to describe impossible things like the scent of creosote —
bitter； slightly resinous； but still pleasant — the high； keening sound
of the cicadas in July； the feathery barrenness of the trees； the very
size of the sky； extending whiteblue from horizon to horizon； barely
interrupted by the low mountains covered with purple volcanic rock。 The
hardest thing to explain was why it was so beautiful to me — to justify a
beauty that didn't depend on the sparse； spiny vegetation that often
looked half dead； a beauty that had more to do with the exposed shape of
the land； with the shallow bowls of valleys between the craggy hills； and
the way they held on to the sun。 I found myself using my hands as I tried
to describe it to him。
His quiet； probing questions kept me talking freely； forgetting； in the
dim light of the storm； to be embarrassed for monopolizing the
conversation。 Finally； when I had finished detailing my cluttered room at
home； he paused instead of responding with another question。
〃Are you finished？〃 I asked in relief。
〃Not even close — but your father will be home soon。〃
〃Charlie！〃 I suddenly recalled his existence； and sighed。 I looked out at
the raindarkened sky； but it gave nothing away。 〃How late is it？〃 I
wondered out loud as I glanced at the clock。 I was surprised by the time
— Charlie would be driving home now。
〃It's twilight；〃 Edward murmured； looking at the western horizon；
obscured as it was with clouds。 His voice was thoughtful； as if his mind
were somewhere far away。 I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the
windshield。
I was still staring when his eyes suddenly shifted back to mine。
〃It's the safest time of day for us；〃 he said； answering the unspoken
question in my eyes。 〃The easiest time。 But also the saddest； in a way…
the end of another day； the return of the night。 Darkness is so
predictable； don't you think？〃 He smiled wistfully。
〃I like the night。 Without the dark； we'd never see the stars。〃 I
frowned。 〃Not that you see them here much。〃
He laughed； and the mood abruptly lightened。
〃Charlie will be here in a few minutes。 So； unless you want to tell him
tha