《[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版》

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[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版- 第62部分


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Ralph took some pride in the resources of his mind; 
and was insensibly helped to right himself by Mary’s trust 
in him。 She wound her ivy spray round her ashplant; and 
for the first time for many days; when alone with Ralph; 
set no spies upon her motives; sayings; and feelings; but 
surrendered herself to plete happiness。 

Thus talking; with easy silences and some pauses to 
look at the view over the hedge and to decide upon the 
species of a little graybrown bird slipping among the 

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twigs; they walked into Lincoln; and after strolling up 
and down the main street; decided upon an inn where 
the rounded window suggested substantial fare; nor were 
they mistaken。 For over a hundred and fifty years hot 
joints; potatoes; greens; and apple puddings had been 
served to generations of country gentlemen; and now; 
sitting at a table in the hollow of the bow window; Ralph 
and Mary took their share of this perennial feast。 Looking 
across the joint; halfway through the meal; Mary 
wondered whether Ralph would ever e to look quite 
like the other people in the room。 Would he be absorbed 
among the round pink faces; pricked with little white 
bristles; the calves fitted in shiny brown leather; the blackand
white check suits; which were sprinkled about in the 
same room with them? She half hoped so; she thought 
that it was only in his mind that he was different。 She 
did not wish him to be too different from other people。 
The walk had given him a ruddy color; too; and his eyes 
were lit up by a steady; honest light; which could not 
make the simplest farmer feel ill at ease; or suggest to 
the most devout of clergymen a disposition to sneer at 

his faith。 She loved the steep cliff of his forehead; and 
pared it to the brow of a young Greek horseman; who 
reins his horse back so sharply that it half falls on its 
haunches。 He always seemed to her like a rider on a spirited 
horse。 And there was an exaltation to her in being 
with him; because there was a risk that he would not be 
able to keep to the right pace among other people。 Sitting 
opposite him at the little table in the window; she 
came back to that state of careless exaltation which had 
overe her when they halted by the gate; but now it 
was acpanied by a sense of sanity and security; for 
she felt that they had a feeling in mon which scarcely 
needed embodiment in words。 How silent he was! leaning 
his forehead on his hand; now and then; and again 
looking steadily and gravely at the backs of the two men 
at the next table; with so little selfconsciousness that 
she could almost watch his mind placing one thought 
solidly upon the top of another; she thought that she 
could feel him thinking; through the shade of her fingers; 
and she could anticipate the exact moment when 
he would put an end to his thought and turn a little in 

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Virginia Woolf 

his chair and say: 

“Well; Mary—?” inviting her to take up the thread of 
thought where he had dropped it。 

And at that very moment he turned just so; and said: 

“Well; Mary?” with the curious touch of diffidence which 
she loved in him。 

She laughed; and she explained her laugh on the spur 
of the moment by the look of the people in the street 
below。 There was a motorcar with an old lady swathed in 
blue veils; and a lady’s maid on the seat opposite; holding 
a King Charles’s spaniel; there was a countrywoman 
wheeling a perambulator full of sticks down the middle 
of the road; there was a bailiff in gaiters discussing the 
state of the cattle market with a dissenting minister—so 
she defined them。 

She ran over this list without any fear that her panion 
would think her trivial。 Indeed; whether it was 
due to the warmth of the room or to the good roast beef; 
or whether Ralph had achieved the process which is called 
making up one’s mind; certainly he had given up testing 
the good sense; the independent character; the intelli


gence shown in her remarks。 He had been building one of 
those piles of thought; as ramshackle and fantastic as a 
Chinese pagoda; half from words let fall by gentlemen in 
gaiters; half from the litter in his own mind; about duck 
shooting and legal history; about the Roman occupation 
of Lincoln and the relations of country gentlemen with 
their wives; when; from all this disconnected rambling; 
there suddenly formed itself in his mind the idea that he 
would ask Mary to marry him。 The idea was so spontaneous 
that it seemed to shape itself of its own accord before 
his eyes。 It was then that he turned round and made 
use of his old; instinctive phrase: 

“Well; Mary—?” 

As it presented itself to him at first; the idea was so 
new and interesting that he was half inclined to address 
it; without more ado; to Mary herself。 His natural instinct 
to divide his thoughts carefully into two different classes 
before he expressed them to her prevailed。 But as he 
watched her looking out of the window and describing 
the old lady; the woman with the perambulator; the bailiff 
and the dissenting minister; his eyes filled involun


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Night and Day 

tarily with tears。 He would have liked to lay his head on 
her shoulder and sob; while she parted his hair with her 
fingers and soothed him and said: 

“There; there。 Don’t cry! Tell me why you’re crying—”; 
and they would clasp each other tight; and her arms would 
hold him like his mother’s。 He felt that he was very lonely; 
and that he was afraid of the other people in the room。 

“How damnable this all is!” he exclaimed abruptly。 

“What are you talking about?” she replied; rather 
vaguely; still looking out of the window。 

He resented this divided attention more than; perhaps; 
he knew; and he thought how Mary would soon be on her 
way to America。 

“Mary;” he said; “I want to talk to you。 Haven’t we 
nearly done? Why don’t they take away these plates?” 

Mary felt his agitation without looking at him; she felt 
convinced that she knew what it was that he wished to 
say to her。 

“They’ll e all in good time;” she said; and felt it 
necessary to display her extreme calmness by lifting a 
saltcellar and sweeping up a little heap of breadcrumbs。 

“I want to apologize;” Ralph continued; not quite knowing 
what he was about to say; but feeling some curious 
instinct which urged him to mit himself irrevocably; 
and to prevent the moment of intimacy from passing。 

“I think I’ve treated you very badly。 That is; I’ve told you 
lies。 Did you guess that I was lying to you? Once in Lincoln’s 
Inn Fields and again today on our walk。 I am a liar; Mary。 
Did you know that? Do you think you do know me?” 

“I think I do;” she said。 

At this point the waiter changed their plates。 

“It’s true I don’t want you to go to America;” he said; 
looking fixedly at the tablecloth。 “In fact; my feelings 
towards you seem to be utterly and damnably bad;” he 
said energetically; although forced to keep his voice low。 

“If I weren’t a selfish beast I should tell you to have 
nothing more to do with me。 And yet; Mary;

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