was his secondinmand now; his 〃beta;〃 as
I'd called it once long ago。
〃I figured as long as I was going to do this Alpha thing for real;〃 Jacob explained; 〃I'd better nail down
the formalities。〃
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The new responsibility made Leah feel the need to check in with him often; and since he was always with
Renesmee。。。
Leah was not happy to be near us; but she was the exception。 Happiness was the main ponent in my
life now; the dominant pattern in the tapestry。 So much so that my relationship with Jasper was now much
closer than I'd ever dreamed it would be。
At first I was really annoyed; though。
〃Yeesh!〃 I plained to Edward one night after we'd put Renesmee in her wroughtiron crib。 〃If I
haven't killed Charlie or Sue yet; it's probably not going to happen。 I wish Jasper would stop hovering all
the time!〃
〃No one doubts you; Bella; not in the slightest;〃 he assured me。 〃You know how Jasper is—he can't
resist a good emotional climate。 You're so happy all the time; love; he gravitates toward you without
thinking。〃
And then Edward hugged me tightly; because nothing pleased him more than my overwhelming ecstasy
in this new life。
And I was euphoric the vast majority of the time。 The days were not long enough for me to get my fill of
adoring my daughter; the nights did not have enough hours to satisfy my need for Edward。
There was a flipside to the joy; though。 If you turned the fabric of our lives over; I imagined the design
on the backside would be woven in the bleak grays of doubt and fear。
Renesmee spoke her first word when she was exactly one week old。 The word was Momma; which
would have made my day; except that I was so frightened by her progress I could barely force my frozen
face to smile back at her。 It didn't help that she continued from her first word to her first sentence in the
same breath。 〃Momma; where is Grandpa?〃 she'd asked in a clear; high soprano; only bothering to speak
aloud because I was across the room from her。 She'd already asked Rosalie; using her normal (or
seriously abnormal; from another point of view) means of munication。 Rosalie hadn't known the
answer; so Renesmee had turned to me。
When she walked for the first time; fewer than three weeks later; it was similar。 She'd simply stared at
Alice for a long moment; watching intently as her aunt arranged bouquets in the vases scattered around
the room; dancing back and forth across the floor with her arms full of flowers。 Renesmee got to her feet;
not in the least bit shaky; and crossed the floor almost as gracefully。
Jacob had burst into applause; because that was clearly the response Renesmee wanted。 The way he
was tied to her made his own reactions secondary; his first reflex was always to give Renesmee whatever
she needed。 But our eyes met; and I saw all the panic in mine echoed in his。 I made my hands clap
together; too; trying to hide my fear from her。 Edward applauded quietly at my side; and we didn't need
to speak our thoughts to know they were the same。
Edward and Carlisle threw themselves into research; looking for any answers; anything to expect。 There
was
very little to be found; and none of it verifiable。
Alice and Rosalie usually began our day with a fashion show。 Renesmee never wore the same clothes
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twice; partly because she outgrew her clothes almost immediately and partly because Alice and Rosalie
were trying to create a baby album that appeared to span years rather than weeks。 They took thousands
of pictures; documenting every phase of her accelerated childhood。
At three months; Renesmee could have been a big oneyearold; or a small twoyearold。 She wasn't
shaped exactly like a toddler; she was leaner and more graceful; her proportions were more even; like an
adult's。 Her bronze ringlets hung to her waist; I couldn't bear to cut them; even if Alice would have
allowed it。 Renesmee could speak with flawless grammar and articulation; but she rarely bothered;
preferring to simply show people what she wanted。 She could not only walk but run and dance。 She
could even read。
I'd been reading Tennyson to her one night; because the flow and rhythm of his poetry seemed restful。 (I
had to search constantly for new material; Renesmee didn't like repetition in her bedtime stories as other
children supposedly did; and she had no patience for picture books。) She reached up to touch my cheek;
the image in her mind one of us; only with her holding the book。 I gave it to her; smiling。
〃 There is sweet music here;'〃 she read without hesitation; 〃'that softer falls than petals from blown roses
on the grass; or nightdews on still waters between walls of shadowy granite; in a gleaming pass—'〃
My hand was robotic as I took the book back。
〃If you read; how will you fall asleep?〃 I asked in a voice that had barely escaped shaking。
By Carlisle's calculations; the growth of her body was gradually slowing; her mind continued to race on
ahead。 Even if the rate of decrease held steady; she'd still be an adult in no more than four years。
Four years。 And an old woman by fifteen。
Just fifteen years of life。
But she was so healthy。 Vital; bright; glowing; and happy。 Her conspicuous wellbeing made it easy for
me to be happy with her in the moment and leave the future for tomorrow。
Carlisle and Edward discussed our options for the future from every angle in low voices that I tried not
to hear。 They never had these discussions when Jacob was around; because there was one sure way to
halt aging; and that wasn't something Jacob was likely to be excited about。 I wasn't。 Too dangerous! my
instincts screamed at me。 Jacob and Renesmee seemed alike in so many ways; both halfandhalf beings;
two things at the same time。 And all the werewolf lore insisted that vampire venom was a death sentence
rather than a course to immortality___
Carlisle and Edward had exhausted the research they could do from a distance; and now we were
preparing to follow old legends at their source。 We were going back to Brazil; starting there。 The Ticunas
had legends about children like Renesmee。。。。 If other children like her had ever existed; perhaps some
tale of the life span of halfmortal children still lingered___
The only real question left was exactly when we would go。
I was the holdup。 A small part of it was that I wanted to stay near Forks until after the holidays; for
Charlie's
sake。 But more than that; there was a different journey that I knew had to e first—that was the clear
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priority。 Also; it had to be a solo trip。
This was the only argument that Edward and I had gotten in since I'd bee a vampire。 The main point
of contention was the 〃solo〃 part。 But the facts were what they were; and my plan was the only one that
made rational sense。 I had to go see the Volturi; and I had to do it absolutely alone。
Eve