4 breaking dawn破晓- 第38部分

〃Try。　There's　nothing　to　lose　now。　How　will　it　hurt？〃　

It　would　hurt　me。　Hadn't　I　taken　enough　rejection　from　Bella　without　this？　

〃A　little　pain　to　save　her？　Is　it　such　a　high　cost？〃　




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〃But　it　won't　work。〃　

〃Maybe　not。　Maybe　it　will　confuse　her；　though。　Maybe　she'll　falter　in　her　resolve。　One　moment　of　doubt　
is　all　I　need。〃　

〃And　then　you　pull　the　rug　out　from　under　the　offer？　'Just　kidding；　Bella'？〃　

〃If　she　wants　a　child；　that's　what　she　gets。　I　won't　rescind。〃　

I　couldn't　believe　I　was　even　thinking　about　this。　Bella　would　punch　me—not　that　I　cared　about　that；　but　
it　would　probably　break　her　hand　again。　I　shouldn't　let　him　talk　to　me；　mess　with　my　head。　I　should　just　
kill　him　now。　

〃Not　now；〃　he　whispered。　〃Not　yet。　Right　or　wrong；　it　would　destroy　her；　and　you　know　it。　No　need　to　
be　hasty。　If　she　won't　listen　to　you；　you'll　get　your　chance。　The　moment　Bella's　heart　stops　beating；　I　will　
be　begging　for　you　to　me。〃　

〃You　won't　have　to　beg　long。〃　

The　hint　of　a　worn　smile　tugged　at　the　corner　of　his　mouth。　〃I'm　very　much　counting　on　that。〃　

〃Then　we　have　a　deal。〃　

He　nodded　and　held　out　his　cold　stone　hand。　

Swallowing　my　disgust；　I　reached　out　to　take　his　hand。　My　fingers　closed　around　the　rock；　and　I　shook　
it　once。　

〃We　have　a　deal；〃　he　agreed。　

10。　WHY　DIDN'T　I　JUST　WALK　AWAY？　OH　RIGHT；　BECAUSE　I'M　AN　IDIOT。　

I　felt　like—like　I　don't　know　what。　Like　this　wasn't　real。　Like　I　was　in　some　Goth　version　of　a　bad　
sit。　Instead　of　being　the　AA　dweeb　about　to　ask　the　head　cheerleader　to　the　prom；　I　was　the　
finishedsecondplace　werewolf　about　to　ask　the　vampire's　wife　to　shack　up　and　procreate。　Nice。　

No；　I　wouldn't　do　it。　It　was　twisted　and　wrong。　I　was　going　to　forget　all　about　what　he'd　said。　

But　I　would　talk　to　her。　I'd　try　to　make　her　listen　to　me。　

And　she　wouldn't。　Just　like　always。　

Edward　didn't　answer　or　ment　on　my　thoughts　as　he　led　the　way　back　to　the　house。　I　wondered　
about　the　place　that　he'd　chosen　to　stop。　Was　it　far　enough　from　the　house　that　the　others　couldn't　hear　
his　whispers？　Was　that　the　point？　

Maybe。　When　we　walked　through　the　door；　the　other　Cullens'　eyes　were　suspicious　and　confused。　No　
one　looked　disgusted　or　outraged。　So　they　must　not　have　heard　either　favor　Edward　had　asked　me　for。　

I　hesitated　in　the　open　doorway；　not　sure　what　to　do　now。　It　was　better　right　there；　with　a　little　bit　of　
breathable　air　blowing　in　from　outside。　



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Edward　walked　into　the　middle　of　the　huddle；　shoulders　stiff。　Bella　watched　him　anxiously；　and　then　her　
eyes　flickered　to　me　for　a　second。　Then　she　was　watching　him　again。　

Her　face　turned　a　grayish　pale；　and　I　could　see　what　he　meant　about　the　stress　making　her　feel　worse。　

〃We're　going　tolet　Jacob　and　Bella　speak　privately；〃　Edward　said。　There　was　no　inflection　at　all　in　his　
voice。　Robotic。　

〃Over　my　pile　of　ashes；〃　Rosalie　hissed　at　him。　She　was　still　hovering　by　Bella's　head；　one　of　her　cold　
hands　placed　possessively　on　Bella's　sallow　cheek。　

Edward　didn't　look　at　her。　〃Bella；〃　he　said　in　that　same　empty　tone。　〃Jacob　wants　to　talk　to　you。　Are　you　
afraid　to　

be　alone　with　him？〃　

Bella　looked　at　me；　confused。　Then　she　looked　at　Rosalie。　

〃Rose；　it's　fine。　Jake's　not　going　to　hurt　us。　Go　with　Edward。〃　

〃It　might　be　a　trick；〃　the　blonde　warned。　

〃I　don't　see　how；〃　Bella　said。　

〃Carlisle　and　I　will　always　be　in　your　sight；　Rosalie；〃　Edward　said。　The　emotionless　voice　was　cracking；　
showing　the　anger　through　it。　〃We're　the　ones　she's　afraid　of。〃　

〃No；〃　Bella　whispered。　Her　eyes　were　glistening；　her　lashes　wet。　〃No；　Edward。　I'm　not___〃　

He　shook　his　head；　smiling　a　little。　The　smile　was　painful　to　look　at。　〃I　didn't　mean　it　that　way；　Bella。　I'm　
fine。　Don't　worry　about　me。〃　

Sickening。　He　was　right—she　was　beating　herself　up　about　hurting　his　feelings。　The　girl　was　a　classic　
martyr。　She'd　totally　been　born　in　the　wrong　century。　She　should　have　lived　back　when　she　could　have　
gotten　herself　fed　to　some　lions　for　a　good　cause。　

〃Everyone；〃　Edward　said；　his　hand　stiffly　motioning　toward　the　door。　〃Please。〃　

The　posure　he　was　trying　to　keep　up　for　Bella　was　shaky。　I　could　see　how　close　he　was　to　that　
burning　man　he'd　been　outside。　The　others　saw　it；　too。　Silently；　they　moved　out　the　door　while　I　shifted　
out　of　the　way。　They　moved　fast；　my　heart　beat　twice；　and　the　room　was　cleared　except　for　Rosalie；　
hesitating　in　the　middle　of　the　floor；　and　Edward；　still　waiting　by　the　door。　

〃Rose；〃　Bella　said　quietly。　〃I　want　you　to　go。〃　

The　blonde　glared　at　Edward　and　then　gestured　for　him　to　go　first。　He　disappeared　out　the　door。　She　
gave　me　a　long　warning　glower；　and　then　she　disappeared；　too。　

Once　we　were　alone；　I　crossed　the　room　and　sat　on　the　floor　next　to　Bella。　I　took　both　her　cold　hands　
in　mine；　rubbing　them　carefully。　



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〃Thanks；　Jake。　That　feels　good。〃　

〃I'm　not　going　to　lie；　Bells。　You're　hideous。〃　

〃I　know；〃　she　sighed。　Tm　scarylooking。〃　

〃Thingfromtheswamp　scary；〃　I　agreed。　

She　laughed。　〃It's　so　good　having　you　here。　It　feels　nice　to　smile。　I　don't　know　how　much　more　drama　I　
can　stand。〃　

I　rolled　my　eyes。　

〃Okay；　okay；〃　she　agreed。　〃I　bring　it　on　myself。〃　

〃Yeah；　you　do。　What're　you　thinking；　Bells？　Seriously！〃　

〃Did　he　ask　you　to　yell　at　me？〃　

〃Sort　of。　Though　I　can't　figure　why　he　thinks　you'd　listen　to　me。　You　never　have　before。〃　

She　sighed。　

〃I　told　you—；〃　I　started　to　say。　

〃Did　you　know　that　7　told　you　so'　has　a　brother；　Jacob？〃　she　asked；　cutting　me　off。　〃His　name　is　'Shut　
the　hell　up。〃　

〃Good　one。〃　

She　grinned　at　me。　Her　skin　stretched　tight　over　the　bones。　〃I　can't　take　credit—i　got　it　off　a　rerun　of　
The　Simpsons〃　

〃Missed　that　one。〃　

〃It　was　funny。〃　

We　didn't　talk　for　a　minute。　Her　hands　were　starting　to　warm　up　a　little。　

〃Did　he　really　ask　you　to　talk　to　me？〃　

I　nodded。　〃To　talk　some　sense　into　you。　There's　a　battle　that's　lost　before　it　starts。〃　

〃So　why　did　you　agree？〃　

I　didn't　answer。　I　wasn't　sure　I　knew。　

I　did　know　this—every　second　I　spent　with　her　was　only　going　to　add　to　the　pain　I　would　have　to　suffer　
later。　Like　a　junkie　with　a　limited　supply；　the　day　of　reckoning　was　ing　for　me。　The　more　hits　I　took　
now；　the　harder　it　would　be　when　my　supply　ran　out。　



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〃It'll　work　out；　you　know；〃　she　said　after　a　quiet　minute。　〃I　believe　that。〃　

That　made　me　see　red　again。　〃Is　dementia　one　of　your　symptoms？〃　I　snapped。　

She　laughed；　though　my　anger　was　so　real　that　my　hands　were　shaking　around　hers。　

〃Maybe；〃　she　said。　Tm　not　saying　things　will　work　out　easily；　Jake。　But　how　could　I　have　lived　through　
all　that　I've　lived　through　and　not　believe　in　magic　by　this　point？〃　

〃Magic？〃　

〃Especially　for　you；〃　she　said。　She　was　smiling。　She