〃Easy on the clutch；〃 he reminded me。
〃Do you want to kill yourself； then？ Is that what this is about？〃 the other
voice spoke again； his tone
severe。
I smiled tightly—it was still working—and ignored the questions。 Jacob
wasn't going to let anything
serious happen to me。
〃Go home to Charlie；〃 the voice ordered。 The sheer beauty of it amazed me。 I
couldn't allow my memory
to lose it； no matter the price。
〃Ease off slowly；〃 Jacob encouraged me。
〃I will；〃 I said。 It bothered me a bit when I realized I was answering both of
them。
The voice in my head growled against the roar of the motorcycle。
Trying to focus this time； to not let the voice startle me again； I relaxed my
hand by tiny degrees。
Suddenly； the gear caught and wrenched me forward。
And I was flying。
There was wind that wasn't there before； blowing my skin against my skull and
flinging my hair back
behind me with enough force that it felt like someone was tugging on it。 I'd
left my stomach back at the
starting point； the adrenaline coursed through my body； tingling in my veins。
The trees raced past me；
blurring into a wall of green。
But this was only first gear。 My foot itched toward the gearshift as I twisted
for more gas。
〃No； Bella！〃 the angry； honey…sweet voice ordered in my ear。 〃Watch what
you're doing！〃
It distracted me enough from the speed to realize that the road was starting a
slow curve to the left； and I
was still going straight。 Jacob hadn't told me how to turn。
〃Brakes； brakes；〃 I muttered to myself； and I instinctively slammed down with
my right foot； like I would
in my truck。
The bike was suddenly unstable underneath me； shivering first to one side and
then the other。 It was
dragging me toward the green wall； and I was going too fast。 I tried to turn
the handlebar the other
direction； and the sudden shift of my weight pushed the bike toward the
ground； still spinning toward the
trees。
The motorcycle landed on top of me again； roaring loudly； pulling me across
the wet sand until it hit
something stationary。 I couldn't see。 My face was mashed into the moss。 I
tried to lift my head； but there
was something in the way。
I was dizzy and confused。 It sounded like there were three things snarling—
the bike over me； the voice in
my head； and something else
〃Bella！〃 Jacob yelled； and I heard the roar of the other bike cut off。
The motorcycle no longer pinned me to the ground； and I rolled over to
breathe。 All the growling went
silent。
〃Wow；〃 I murmured。 I was thrilled。 This had to be it； the recipe for a
hallucination—adrenaline plus
clanger plus stupidity。 Something close to that； anyway。
〃Bella！〃 Jacob was crouching over me anxiously。 〃Bella； are you alive？〃
〃I'm great！〃 I enthused。 I flexed my arms and legs。 Everything seemed to be
working correctly。 〃Let's do
itagain。〃
〃I don't think so。〃 Jacob still sounded worried。 〃I think I'd better drive you
to the hospital first。〃
〃I'mfine。〃
〃Um； Bella？ You've got a huge cut on your forehead； and it's gushing blood；〃
he informed me。
I clapped my hand over my head。 Sure enough； it was wet and sticky。 I could
smell nothing but the damp
moss on my face； and that held off the nausea。
〃Oh； I'm so sorry； Jacob。〃 I pushed hard against the gash； as if I could force
the blood back inside my
head。
〃Why are you apologizing for bleeding？〃 he wondered as he wrapped a long arm
around my waist and
pulled me to my feet。 〃Let's go。 I'll drive。〃 He held out his hand for the
keys。
〃What about the bikes？〃 I asked； handing them over。
He thought for a second。 〃Wait here。 And take this。〃 He pulled off his T…
shirt； already spotted with
blood； and threw it to me。 I wadded it up and held it tightly to my forehead。
I was starting to smell the
blood； I breathed deeply through my mouth and tried to concentrate on
something else。
Jacob jumped on the black motorcycle； kicked it to a start in one try； and
raced back down the road；
spraying sand and pebbles behind him。 He looked athletic and professional as
he leaned over the
handlebars； head low； face forward； his shiny hair whipping against the russet
skin of his back。 My eyes
narrowed enviously。 I was sure I hadn't looked like that on my motorcycle。
I was surprised at how far I'd gone。 I could barely see Jacob in the distance
when he finally got to the
truck。 He threw the bike into the bed and sprinted to the driver's side。
I really didn't feel bad at all as he coaxed my truck to a deafening roar in
his hurry to get back to me。 My
head stung a little； and my stomach was uneasy； but the cut wasn't serious。
Head wounds just bled more
than most。 His urgency wasn't necessary。
Jacob left the truck running as he raced back to me； wrapping his arm around
my waist again。
〃Okay； let's get you in the truck。〃
〃I'm honestly fine；〃 I assured him as he helped me in。 〃Don't get worked up。
It's just a little blood。〃
〃Just a lot of blood；〃 I heard him mutter as he went back for my bike。
〃Now； let's think about this for a second；〃 I began when he got back in。 〃If
you take me to the ER like
this； Charlie is sure to hear about it。〃 I glanced down at the sand and dirt
caked into my jeans。
〃Bella； I think you need stitches。 I'm not going to let you bleed to death。〃
〃I won't；〃 I promised。 〃Let's just take the bikes back first； and then we'll
make a stop at my house so I
can dispose of the evidence before we go to the hospital。〃
〃What about Charlie？〃
〃He said he had to work today。〃
〃Are you really sure？〃
〃Trust me。 I'm an easy bleeder。 It's not nearly as dire as it looks。〃
Jacob wasn't happy—his full mouth turned down in an uncharacteristic frown—
but he didn't want to get
me in trouble。 I stared out the window； holding his ruined shirt to my head；
while he drove me to Forks。
The motorcycle was better than I'd dreamed。 It had served its original
purpose。 I'd cheated—broken my
promise。 I'd been needlessly reckless。 I felt a little less pathetic now that
the promises had been broken
on both sides。
And then to discover the key to the hallucinations！ At least； I hoped I had。 I
was going to test the theory
as soon as possible。 Maybe they'd get through with me quickly in the ER； and I
could try again tonight。
Racing down the road like that had been amazing。 The feel of the wind in my
face； the speed and the
freedom it reminded me of a past life； flying through the thick forest
without a road； piggyback while he
ran—I stopped thinking right there； letting the memory break off in the
sudden agony。 I flinched。
〃You still okay？〃 Jacob checked。
〃Yeah。〃 I tried to sound as convincing as before。
〃By the way；〃 he added。 〃I'm going to disconnect your foot brake tonight。〃
At home； I went to look at myself in the mirror first thing； it was pretty
gruesome。 Blood was drying in
thick streaks across my cheek and neck； matting in my muddy hair。 I examined
myself clinically；
pretending the blood was paint so it wouldn't upset my stomach。 I breathed
through my mouth； and was
fine。
I washed up as well as I could。 Then I hid my dirty； bloody clothes in the
bot